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rSlash

r/Bestof My Girlfriend Tied Me Up and Strangled Me

rSlash

rSlash Reads Reddit

Comedy

4.910.6K Ratings

🗓️ 9 November 2025

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

0:00 Intro 0:09 Trust 3:46 Indigenous 11:11 Fraud Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

It's that time of year again, Black Friday and Cyber Monday. If you run a business, you know how

0:05.5

stressful it gets. Orders flying in, inventory chaos, messages piling up. The first time I sold

0:11.8

during the holidays, I barely slept until I found Shopify. Shopify powers millions of businesses

0:18.6

around the world, from big brands to first-time entrepreneurs.

0:21.7

It takes you from chaos to chiching.

0:24.3

With thousands of templates, you can launch a beautiful, functional site fast.

0:28.6

It's AI tools, even help write product descriptions and headlines, saving you precious time.

0:34.2

And when things get hectic, Shopify's award-winning support team is there 24-7.

0:39.6

Plus, shop pay makes checkout effortless. Customers love it, and it boosts your conversions.

0:47.1

This Black Friday joined thousands of new entrepreneurs hearing that sound for the first time.

0:52.2

Sign up for your free trial at shopify. your free trial at Shopify.co.com.

0:54.7

dot UK slash glassbox. That's Shopify.com.com.com slash glass box. Welcome to

1:00.8

R slash best of redditor updates, where O.P.'s girlfriend literally tries to murder him.

1:06.6

Our next Reddit post is from R slash relationship advice. I'm a 25 year old guy and my girlfriend is 23.

1:12.3

We've been together for nearly a year. We sometimes do some kinky stuff and she once told me that

1:17.9

she has a thing for smothering her partner. I didn't like the idea, especially because I nearly

1:23.3

drowned as a kid, which I told her about. About two weeks ago, we were doing the deed, and my

1:29.1

hands and feet were tied to the bed. She suddenly pinched my nose shut and pushed her hand over my

1:35.3

mouth. I struggled as hard as I could, and I made noise, but of course, I couldn't speak. I managed to

1:41.3

get a few breaths, but once she was tightly locked on, I couldn't breathe at all.

1:45.7

It felt like a little over a minute when she finally let go for a few seconds. I gasped for air

1:51.3

and screamed out the safe word and said stop and kept saying no. She caught me off guard because

...

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