I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

Wow, wow, wow, second time's a charm, eh, Billy Boy.

Oh, God.

Substitution, courtesy of Paddy Power, embarrassing Eddie, makes way for sensible Samuel.

Cool, that was close.

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Welcome to R slash Am I the Butthole where Opie has the world's worst trad wife.

Am I the butthole for saying if my wife wants to be a trad wife, then she must always look her best, wait on me,

and provide passionate hugging without question when asked. I am 35 and my wife is 40. We've been

together 15 years. The last couple of years, she really fell down the trad wife black hole,

and it's driving me crazy. At first it started off with her saying that

she doesn't want to work anymore and lately it's escalated to saying that men who make

their wives work are abusive. We both have well-paid jobs. I'm a self-employed

builder with a team and earn a hundred thousand pounds a year. She works in

...