The holiday season is here and it can be especially stressful for caregivers. If you are caring for a loved one with dementia, today’s Quick Tips episode is specifically geared toward making holidays enjoyable for you and your loved one. We are going to talk about how you can create a safe and calm space for your loved one, how to adapt holiday activities, ways you can celebrate with a loved one in a facility, how you can prepare for visitors, and last but not least, how to make sure you are taking care of yourself this holiday season. Now let’s move on to the rest of the show.

 

Decorating for the holidays can be a fun family activity, but it can also cause added stress to you and your loved one. When decorating with a loved one with dementia, Mayo Clinic recommends that you tone down decorations. Avoid blinking lights or large decorative displays that can cause confusion and avoid decorations that cause clutter or require you to rearrange a familiar room. Don’t decorate doors or pathways that your loved one uses regularly. They may get confused if things don’t look the same. For example, don’t put up an advent calendar on the refrigerator, it may cause your loved one to skip meals.

 

According to Mayo Clinic, you should also avoid safety hazards like candles and large decorative items. Substitute electric candles for burning candles, but if you do choose to light candles, don't leave them unattended and make sure the lighter and matches are put away. Avoid fragile decorations or decorations that could be mistaken for edible treats, such as artificial fruits. You can still display fragile decorations, but make sure they are out of reach and secured safely. If you have glass ornaments or other decorations, consider replacing them with shatterproof options while your loved one is around.

 

If you have a tree, secure it to a wall and make sure it doesn’t block any part of your loved one’s regular path.

 

Make sure you give your loved one a chance to help with the decorating. Change can be scary for someone with dementia, but they will enjoy spending time with you and the rest of the family and may enjoy finding special family decorations that have been stored away all year. If your loved one is anxious about decorating, make sure you listen to what they’re telling you and maybe choose to decorate when they are not in the room.

 

Decorating may make your loved one upset, but know that if decorating your home is an important tradition to your family, you shouldn’t stop doing it altogether. You can work with your family to modify traditions and decorations so that it works for your current situation.

 

Another way to make your space calming while decorating is to play your loved one’s favorite holiday music, or any music they enjoy while decorating. Mayo Clinic also suggests that you adjust the volume to be relaxing and not distressing.

 

If your loved one regularly has a hard time adjusting to small changes, try only decorating small sections of your home at a time and only making small changes within those small sections. Slowly making changes around the holidays may help ease your loved one’s nerves about the changes happening around them.

 

Now that we’ve given you a few tips to create a safe and calm space, let’s move on to ways you can adapt holiday activities for your loved one to enjoy.

 

First, you should make a list of activities you know your loved one enjoys. They may enjoy baking cookies, singing carols, knitting, watching live performances, or looking at Christmas lights. Whatever your loved one may enjoy, make an effort to include a few of those things during the holiday season and plan ahead.

 

If your loved one enjoys baking, Home Care Assistance recommends that you bake holiday treats. You can be elaborate or keep it simple while baking. You could prepare cookie dough and have it cut and ready for decorations, or if baking the cookies is too much for your loved one or you no longer have time, you can buy premade cookies to frost together.

 

Weatherly Inn says that the holidays are a time to cherish your older family member's culture and history. Get everyone in the kitchen and bake their favorite holiday treats. One way to make this experience extra special is to use your loved one's recipes. You might need to make some ingredient adjustments, but this can be a great way to encourage his or her memory. If your loved one struggles to remember ingredients or measurements, that's okay. This experience is all about fun, so keep it lighthearted (and search the internet in secret) if they're stumped.

 

If you normally have a holiday party, consider asking a friend or family member to host instead. Having a large crowd can be overwhelming for your loved one. Keep gatherings small and intimate and watch for signs that your loved one is overwhelmed, like not participating in a conversation. For more information on how to tell when your loved one is overwhelmed, listen to one of our episodes on caring for a loved one with dementia. You can find them on our website, our YouTube channel, or wherever you get your podcasts.

 

When you do have guests over, Mayo Clinic suggests that you plan a gathering at the best time of day for the person with dementia. You want to keep daily routines in place as much as possible. You should also provide a quiet place for the person with dementia to have time alone or to visit with one person at a time. If you'll be attending a holiday gathering, plan to be brief or be prepared to leave early if necessary and make sure there is a place for your loved one to rest or take a break.

 

Another activity that your loved one may enjoy is watching holiday movies. According to Weatherly Inn, many families make a tradition of watching their favorite holiday movies together. Try to pick some older films that might spark a pleasant memory for your loved one.

 

Weatherly Inn’s favorite holiday movies for seniors are Holiday Inn and Miracle on 34th Street. Holiday Inn is a popular older Christmas movie starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire. It was responsible for making one of the most popular holiday songs in history, "White Christmas." Miracle on 34th Street is another classic your loved one will likely remember. The original Miracle on 34th Street debuted in 1947 and starred Maureen O'Hara and Natalie Wood.

 

Family movie night is a wonderful holiday tradition that you can even host while social distancing! You can plan a family watch party using Facebook, or using an app like Skype or FaceTime. Socializing through a device may also be easier for your loved one than in person, too, as they may feel less pressure when they are able to be comfortable in their own home and not surrounded by bodies.

 

Your loved one may also be able to participate in virtual movie nights if they are living in a care facility. It may be harder for your loved one to participate in holiday traditions and activities while in a facility, but they will appreciate being included and the time you are able to spend with them.

 

According to Mayo Clinic, if your family member lives in a nursing home or other care facility, try celebrating in the most familiar setting. Because a change in environment can cause distress, consider holding a small family celebration at the facility instead of in your home. You may even participate in holiday activities planned for the residents. It doesn’t really matter what you do with your loved one, what matters most is that you are there.

 

More family and friends may want to visit during the holiday season than normal. You should try to minimize visitor traffic as best you can. Arrange for a few family members to drop in on different days, because as we have already talked about, a large group may be overwhelming for your loved one.

 

Whether your loved one is in living with you or in a facility, people may want to stop in for a visit. Having visitors is something for your loved one to look forward to, but it can also be stressful. In order for your loved one to be prepared for a visit, the visitor must be prepared first.

 

According to Mayo Clinic, before anyone comes to visit, you should provide them with an update. Let guests know ahead of time about any changes in behavior or memory since their last visit. Providing a recent photo can help people prepare for changes in appearance, as well.

 

It may be helpful for visitors if you offer communication tips for your loved one. You can suggest ways for guests to listen patiently, such as not criticizing repeated comments, not correcting errors, and not interrupting. Visitors can also listen to our episode on the Dos and Don’ts of Visiting a Loved One with Dementia for more information.

 

Now that we’ve given you a few tips and ideas on how to prepare visitors, let’s move on to the final part of today’s episode, taking care of yourself this holiday season.

 

The holidays can be a stressful time, even before taking care of your loved one. It is important to take care of yourself during this time and to take time for yourself to enjoy the season. Mayo Clinic recommends that you pick and choose your activities. Focus on the holiday activities and traditions that are most important to you and remember that you can't do it all. You should also set realistic expectations for what you can contribute to family holiday celebrations and delegate tasks to others when possible.

 

Let family and friends help with cleaning, addressing cards, and shopping for gifts. Most importantly, as we have said already, make time for yourself. Ask a family member or friend to give you a break so that you can enjoy a holiday outing without caregiving responsibilities.

 

We here at All Home Care Matters wish you a happy holiday and hope that these tips will help you and your loved one enjoy this holiday season.

 

We want to say thank you for joining us here at All Home Care Matters, All Home Care Matters is here for you and to help families as they navigate these long-term care issues. Please visit us at allhomecarematters.com there is a private secure fillable form where you can give us feedback, show ideas, or if you have questions. Every form is read and responded to. If you know someone who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

 

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Sources:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/caregivers/in-depth/alzheimers/art-20047715

 

https://homecareassistance.com/blog/7-holiday-activities-loved-one-alzheimers

 

https://www.weatherlyinn.com/blog/holiday-activities-for-seniors-with-dementia