Queen Elizabeth Is Dead with Cassi Jerkins

Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Lizard People

Paranormal, Religion & Spirituality, Conspiracytheory, Conspiracy, Comedy

4 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 26 February 2022

⏱️ 68 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tally ho good plebians, we've got another royal conspiracy theory on our hands! Absolute sweetheart Cassi Jerkins is back in the Lizard Lair to discuss a theory that was born on Reddit, reared on Twitter, and is now reaching its culmination on our show. Cassi suspects that good ol Elizabeth II, queen of all Englande (and Wales?), has actually been dead for a few months now and that the powers behind the throne are Weekend At Bernies-ing her because the timing is bad for the queen to be dead. This theory involves platinum jubilees, weird steamed desserts, topless pics, and an in depth of what we all want done to our bodies when we die. Wait til you hear Alexis' legally binding audio will!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	I mean, this was not a healthy conversation, but my mom, like, out, like, had a out-drug
0:25.3	me, like, oh, I've done this.
0:27.5	I've tried math.
0:28.5	I've tried.
0:29.5	And I was, I was just like, why are you cool-girling this?
0:34.8	It was like very like, no, you should be telling me, like, don't do drugs.
0:39.8	I don't know, but it was just like a very weird conversation.
0:43.5	And then years later, I looked back and I was like, oh, that's, that's not healthy
0:46.7	parents.
0:47.7	Oh, you think you're hard?
0:51.3	Yeah, yeah.
0:52.3	I did.
0:53.3	That in high school.
0:54.3	I'm like, thank God I wasn't doing math in high school.
0:57.4	Like.
0:58.4	Yeah.
0:59.4	Yeah.
1:00.4	How do you, how, how, how do you find math?
1:04.1	I mean, I mean, that, for her, I would be curious.
1:08.4	I mean, I've, like, gay friends that are like, oh, it's very easy to get math and we
1:14.0	hope.
1:15.0	Okay.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Lizard People, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Lizard People and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.