Boys, did you see the giant fire that lit up in the ocean?

I did! The sea is on fire! It's up in flames and we're all going to die. Welcome to Charles St.

Doesn't usually happen!

Cthulhu rises from the ocean gloriously as he reclaims the land he once lost.

See, we make jokes about it, right? Like that. We're like, oh, here go,

Shatans tendrils again, but we are so screwed. What do you think really is down there? I think all the

I think all the plastic straws are down there. They lit that fire. Yeah, all of the plastic straws we

we threw into the ocean. All the bottles we forgot to recycle. You think the sea turtles have become

arsonists down there? I think all the sea turtles that I think that's just all the sea turtles with

the fucking straws through their noses unionizing all at once. They're all straying really

fast under the ocean creating enough friction that it's there's a fucking fire down there now.

Right? That's awesome, yeah! We saw that man! Just think you get out. I thought it was something

crazy like global warming, but now that it's just the turtles, hey, we'll just keep putting straws

in there and we know that you should figure itself out. I will kill every single fucking turtle

before I drink out of a paper straw. No matter how they do it. I've said that before and I'll say it again.

I will kill every single turtle. Even that fuck from finding Nemo that they all swam on.

No, you won it. Strangle, strangle. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich.

Are you really that? Are you really that antagonistic towards paper straws?

I hate paper straws. Yes, I hate paper straws, dude. You can't tell me when you see a paper

straw and you drink it like, oh, this is a great day and I'm a happy man. You're not.

Paper straw suck ass. We all know this. I'm throwing myself in with the

trash. I can't. It's all the plastic in the ocean. What did you drink this morning? That's just

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