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Am I the Jerk?

Psycho-Neighbor makes a FAKE CONTRACT... claiming OWNERSHIP over MY YARD

Am I the Jerk?

amithejerk.com

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.83.2K Ratings

🗓️ 19 May 2026

⏱️ 21 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Am I the Jerk? is the show where you can confess your deepest darkest secrets and be part of the conversation. 👉 Subscribe on 🔴 YouTube - youtube.com/amithejerk?sub_confirmation=1 📷 Am I the Jerk? on Instagram 📷 - instagram.com/amithejerk Am I the Genius? on 🟢 Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/0kb6l0leZvREWgHDG14i4o?si=0ab70d199ba64141 🐤 x.com/amithejerk 📘 facebook.com/amithejerk 👉 SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORIES HERE ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠👉http://amithejerk.com/submit Mint Mobile - Get this new customer offer and your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month at MINTMOBILE.com/AITJ Quince - Keep it classic and cool — with long-lasting staples from Quince. Go to Quince.com/AITJ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. EveryPlate - Dig into these flavor-packed meals your household will love. New customers can enjoy this special offer of only $1.99 a meal. Go to everyplate.com/podcast and use code AITG199 to get started. Green Chef - Head to Greenchef.com/50AITJ and use code 50AITJ to get fifty percent off your first month, then twenty percent off for two months with free shipping. Lola Blankets - Get 35% off your entire order at Lolablankets.com by using code AITJ at checkout. Uncommon Goods - To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com/AITJ Don’t miss out on this limited-time offer. Uncommon Goods. We’re all out of the ordinary. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/AMI and get on your way to being your best self Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

My crazy neighbor quite literally poisons the water that goes to my yard and also demands full access to my property.

0:06.5

But instead of giving in to this psycho-carin, I decide to match crazy with crazy by getting my lawyer involved in this entire process.

0:13.7

As I'm determined to make sure that this crazy behavior is stopped right here and right now.

0:18.2

Here's what happened.

0:19.1

Okay, to start things out, I live on a large property with a small house in the front. There are many small hot springs in the semi-rural mountain area that I live in, with many used by homeowners in their backyard. Many are piped indoors, but some have hot tubs built around them, and I happen to have an active one in my backyard near my left neighbor's house. And for the sake of the story, we'll call this the crazy neighbor, and trust me, they truly are. A small stream runs through the far backyards of the neighborhood, and it's used for gardens and little nature areas that everyone on the street enjoys. I have my small fruit and pepper garden water by the stream, and I take really good care of it. For some visualization, it has a good amount of water flowing down and everyone on the street uses it in some way. My right neighbor, who's a really chill dude, who I will call Jay for the sake of the story, has small pools that he made that are fed by the stream, and two neighbors down has a garden similar to mine. Now with that bit of context out of the way, this is where things get really crazy. When I bought the house, the previous owners were sued by this crazy neighbor, with her claiming that the land was rightfully hers. I don't know the details of her argument, but it was thrown out as far as I know. The previous owners warned me about this crazy neighbor and told me not to engage with her family. When I moved in, the crazy neighbor's kids, all three of them,

1:31.1

brought over some cookies and welcomed me into the neighborhood. I thought that the previous owner was exaggerating, as they seemed so sweet. So I invited the crazy neighbor and her family

1:35.9

to a small barbecue and they accepted. Well, the second that they got in the house, this neighbor

1:40.3

started to explain the rules of the neighborhood. I thought it was pretty normal, like not to play loud music after nine, keep your car in the driveway to keep the street uncluttered, etc. Just some common sense rules, right? Well, that is until she got to some rules regarding the stream and the hot springs. She said that kids were allowed in all parts of the stream, even in private backyards, and that everyone could use each other's hot springs. And when I heard this, I was surprised because I have the only hot spring on the street. I then interrupted her, and I told her that I wasn't comfortable with those. And she literally scoffed, saying that all neighbors were fine with it. I told her that I still wasn't comfortable with it, but she just ignored me, continuing with some questionable rules. The rest of the night was fine, but I felt like I wouldn't want to do that again. I talked to some neighbors across the next couple of days, who all told me to steer clear of that crazy neighbor and that her rules were complete BS. I then went over to this crazy neighbor's house, and I told her that I had talked to the other neighbors and that I was not comfortable with anyone

2:34.7

being in my backyard without my permission. Well, she let out a scoff and said, okay. I then had

2:40.0

lunch with Jay and he told me who this crazy neighbor was. She is a serial sewer with her lawyer

2:45.2

on speed dial to get whatever she wants. She had even sued a small chain pizza place in town

2:50.4

into debt for having peanut oil on her pizza when she was allergic to it. But the pizza chain didn't even have peanut oil, and many people in the small community believe that she put it on it. But even still, they lost everything. So I decided not to ever talk to her or her family ever again. Well, a week later, I got home from the grocery store and I see

3:07.9

the crazy neighbor's kids splashing in my hot spring tub. And for reference, it is outside, and usually

3:13.4

it has a lid on it, that two small kids would definitely not be able to take off as it is heavy

3:18.1

and large. I then tell them that they're not allowed in it and to leave my yard immediately. But you know

3:22.8

what? They stand their ground, telling me that their mom told them that it was theirs and that they could use it whenever they wanted. I told them that that's not true and to leave right now. Well, they finally do. And before you think that I'm a jerk for that, remember that pools and hot tubs are dangerous and I don't want to be liable. I then headed back out to buy locks for my gates.

3:41.9

When I got back, this crazy neighbor was now there demanding why I kicked her kids out. She

3:46.5

then tried to remind me of these rules, but I told her to leave immediately and that my

3:50.5

security camera was recording. She then cursed me for a minute or two, and then she laughed.

3:55.0

Now, I was bluffing as I did not have security cameras,

3:57.9

but I did order them on Amazon that night. The next day was fine, where I replanted a lot of

4:02.5

my plants from my apartment's balcony into the empty garden. And it was then that I noticed

...

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