What prevents us from perfect Joy is Self-Reliance. When everything is going well, when we have it all under control, and there is no major crisis, we fall into the bad habit of self-reliance. We think, "I got this…" This is known as the deadly sin of Pride. 

Crisis. Then something happens which removes our apparent ability to control things Some examples include: Loss of health. loss of a spouse, problems at work, in marriage, or with a kid. This crisis can leave us dazed and bewildered.  We can’t make sense out of it. We can’t control or solve the problem, and everything is dark. We become lost and paralyzed. We experience anger, fear, sorrow and even despair – these are normal human emotions. 

So we have to assess and weigh options. We try to understand what is going on, then make a plan to solve the problem. It is normal to ask “What is going on? Why is this happening?” Ultimately there are two options:

Option 1: Chaos and Despair Everything that happens is the result of billions of humans making free choices, like everyone trying to drive through an intersection at once with no lights, and random chaotic forces in nature. In the end it is all just chaos. The world and my life are governed by nothing but random chaos: We come from chaos, our lives are full of chaos, and we descend back to chaos after death. In response to chaos we can try to control everything, or despair from being overwhelmed by fear and anxiety which leads us to numb the fear and pain through distraction by means of entertainment, pot, alcohol, etc.

Option 2: Trust in the Providence of God: God the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth, of all that is visible and Invisible. He orders all things for good (even the free, stupid and sinful decisions of men, even the apparently chaotic forces of nature). Romans 8:28 "We know that in everything God works for good for those who love him."

The constant witness of the saints confirms this truth:

In letter, John of the Cross writes: “Do not let what is happening to me…cause you any grief, for it does not cause me any…Men do not do these things, but God, who knows what is suitable for us and arranges things for our good. Think nothing else but that God ordains all, and where there is no love, put love, and you will draw love out… Letter 26

St. Catherine of Siena said to "those who are scandalized and rebel against what happens to them": "Everything comes from love, all is ordained for the salvation of man, God does nothing without this goal in mind."

St. Thomas More, shortly before his martyrdom, consoled his daughter: "Nothing can come but that that God wills. And I make me very sure that whatsoever that be, seem it never so bad in sight, it shall indeed be the best."

Dame Julian of Norwich: "Here I was taught by the grace of God that I should steadfastly keep me in the faith... and that at the same time I should take my stand on and earnestly believe in what our Lord shewed in this time - that 'all manner [of] thing shall be well.'"

Our Response to the Providence of God: Faith, surrender, and to rest in the providence of God. John of the Cross encourages us to view all the struggles and difficulties of life as coming from the hand of God, for the persons good. 

This is the Remedy to all our problems: Be responsible, and do things to change your situation for the better. But don't fall into the trap of self-reliance or control. Instead, turn to Jesus and Mary in prayer. Give thanks for every moment, and live in the present. Abandon all future moments to God, since you cannot predict them. And lastly, pray the Rosary constantly.