Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

I'm Bell of Jesse Thorne.

This week, probable jaws.

Natasha brings the case against her friend.

Jessica, Jessica says if she had to, she could beat up a great white shark.

But Natasha doesn't believe Jessica has what it takes to win a shark fight. She says

Jessica can't even swim. Jessica says her swimming abilities are irrelevant. She just knows

she can beat a shark in a fight. Who's right, who's wrong, only one can decide. Please rise

as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure

cultural reference. Please continue to be risen, but I am seating the obscure cultural reference to Joel Mann,

program and operations director here at WERU and Orland, Maine. Take it away, Joel, with an obscure

cultural reference. Very first light, Joel, with an obscure cultural reference.

Very first light, chief, sharks come cruising. So we formed ourselves into tight groups.

The idea was the shark comes to the nearest man. That man, he starts pounding, hollering, and screaming. Sometimes that shark, he go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away.

Joel Mann is saying the role of question mark.

We'll find out when you swear the litigants in, Jesse Thorne.

Natasha and Jessica, please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

So help you God or whatever? Yes. Yes. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he's more of a whale guy? Yes. Yes. I don't know. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. I love a whale. If I didn't love a whale, would I be reading Moby Dick into a tin can and presenting

it chapter by chapter via my substack, hodgeman.substack.com? You might even argue that I have an

obsession with a whale and vengeance upon that whale. But we're not talking about whales. We're talking

about sharkin. Jessica, Natasha, sit down.

...