Hello, this is Cambridge Radio.

My name is, uh, pork.

What?

David Pork.

From the pig family.

It's a long tradition here at Cambridge.

We have, of course, a branch in Etton and another one in the other Oxford.

We also are at Oxford.

The pig family stretches like the dunes of Southwich all across

Ymerie continent. We are an intellectual family. We have of course Proust was a member

of the pig family. His name is Proust Pork. A lot of people don't understand that. It's, and of course uh proust was a member of the pig family his name was proust pork a lot of people

don't understand that it's uh and of course my family is most famous for inventing swine uh was created

uh yes swine it's uh so a lot of people don't understand that pigs are cows ugly cows

essentially well it's you know we are an international family of understand that pigs are cows, ugly cows, essentially.

Well, it's, you know, we are an international family, of course.

We do have, in fact, every person in Australia is related in some way and the other to the pig family.

And a lot of people don't understand.

We go from Brighton to Brixton.

We're from London to Lancashire.

We have members and agents in every private and public school in the entirety of the UK.

All right, all right.

I don't know. Why are you letting me talk like this, baby? I don't know. I'm humiliating myself.

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