I'm not a burgher. I just was looking for a turban, doll. My memory of this movie is so overwhelmingly

dominated by how strange it is to have Arnold Schwarzenegger in this movie, you know, a gigantic

Austrian bodybuilder playing Howard Langston, hen-packed husband. Playing a Minneapolis

mattress salesman. Yeah, how he got to Minneapolis, how he entered this industry.

So, you know, in my memory, I basically remembered this movie as being like, well, this is like

the kind of role that Tom Hanks would have, except inexplicably played by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

But what I forgot, though, is that the Phil Hartman character actually in the

dialogue stresses the difference in types of masculinity between them, because he at one point says,

you can't bench press your way out of this one, bud. So like the movie, it is part of the text,

and we are supposed to acknowledge the fact that he is like a true alpha male.

He is Arnold Schwarzenegger, and he's being subverted by the fucking Phil Hartman's of the world,

who didn't even earn it.

They didn't become Mr. Universe.

They didn't become the biggest movie star in the world.

They cheated their way into this with their touchy, feely bullshit.

It is so funny, too, how inappropriate all the stuff the Phil Hartman character does is right from the beginning.

Early on, after missing his son's karate grading, Arnold shows up at home, and Phil Hartman is there,

and he's like putting up lights on their house because Arnold's forgotten to do it.

And then he's like, don't worry about missing the grading.

I got it all for you right here on tape.

And later on, he's in the house with Liz Langston, played by Rita Wilson.

And he answers the phone when Arnold calls.

...