Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs.

Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand.

Marketing tools that get your products out there. Integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time.

From startups to scaleups, online, in person and on the go.

Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you.

Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup.

You know, I know.

I know. I know. I am that handsome.

Happy Wednesday, everyone.

So America is experiencing record cold temperatures across the country.

It's so cold that in D.C., Hunter Biden's penis got stuck to a telephone pole.

Again, in New York City perverts are applying road salt before they rub up against you.

Ew.

And the Big Apple's maniacs are resorting to pushing people in front of snow plows.

Yeah, I thought that was too grim, too.

But you never know until you try, am I right, America?

Borders'ar Tom Homan says ICE arrested over 300 illegal migrants on Trump's first full day

in office. And that was just among Joe Biden's nursing staff.

The visiting angels are now leaving.

Meanwhile, Donald Trump announced an end to all DEI and the federal government today.

But thankfully, some DEI hires had cleared out their desks weeks ago.

Weren't sure, were you?

...