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Okay, so we are back here in our special exclusive content for subscribers and we're welcoming

Joshua Coleman back onto this segment of the show so thank you for being here

with us for being having me. So we had a question submitted and I know Stella was also had some ideas of what we could talk about today, but someone says something very interesting.

She said, I'm curious if there's also a prodigal son element to all of this.

It's also new, it's hard to know, but what I've seen happened in my lifetime were that

estranged children do find their way back, sometimes uneasily to their families. As Abigail Schreier wrote in

irreversible damage, your glitter family probably won't be the ones who will show up and stay with you if you've had a car accident,

but in most cases your family is and will always be your family.

So, I mean, is this something you've seen, I guess, over the course of many years working in this field? Yeah I remember Abigail's quote about that and I highlighted that as well, you know, the sort of the found family isn't necessarily going to have the same kind of commitment that your own family is going to have.

Yeah, you know, statistically the majority of estrangements do reconcile from others. It's 80%. I mean it's a tragic 20% who don't.

For dads it's not as high it's probably closer to 70%. So in terms of the prodigal, son or daughter theme, you know, I do think that a lot of these,

a lot of adult children who do this do eventually come back.

They often come back faster if the parent is able to meet them where they are, but sometimes they come back anyway. They may come back because they marry somebody who's, says, look, I'm not going to be married to somebody. Often they're from another culture, but they'll say I'm not going to be married to somebody often they're from another culture but they'll say I'm not going to be married to somebody who's not going to let you know

the grandparents have contact with our children or they have other life experiences or they get involved in a good therapy where the therapist encourages them to reconcile.

Are they just kind of mature?

They are they sort of, you know, sometimes as we have talked about earlier, a stranger can be a form of mastery, mastery around independence and

individuation and they may just kind of get what they needed and then be able to

turn back towards the parents. So there's a lot of reasons why an adult show

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