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Gender: A Wider Lens

Premium: Are Teens Replacing Friends with Therapists?

Gender: A Wider Lens

Sasha Ayad and Stella O'Malley

Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.6961 Ratings

🗓️ 4 May 2024

⏱️ 3 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.com

In the past decade, it seems a cultural shift toward individualism has created a reluctance among friend groups to share personal struggles, often reserving them for therapy instead. It is important to acknowledge that there exists a delicate paradox in promoting the value of friendships as a source of support while also recognizing that not all issues can be effectively managed solely through peer relationships and do in fact require professional intervention. However, the current climate tends to magnify every subtle emotional fluctuation, hindering resilience and stability in young people. And lo and behold, there is a growing body of reports suggesting that the hyper-focus on mental health may inadvertently contribute to distress and loneliness rather than alleviating it.

All of us parents, we're kind of going, ‘I think I should say, get a grip and go back and do your homework’. But the world is telling me I should work with this. And we end up indulging it. And so these kids are constantly fed that this is appropriate. And the kid ends up in a very self-indulgent place around it. And they're not the better for it. They're more brittle. They're they're less strong. They're less resilient. And they could have done with some humor and some ‘you'll be okay, you can figure this out’.

It's important to recognize that even difficult emotions serve a purpose and should be respected. Understanding the normal fluctuations in emotional states and appreciating the potential functions of a wide range of emotional experiences is key. True wellness isn't solely about the absence of distress but involves achieving a balanced approach to coping and self-regulation amidst the highs, the lows and everywhere in between. This entails taking responsibility for one's own well-being and exploring various management strategies beyond therapy alone.

In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Sasha and Stella critique the culture of over-reliance on therapy and offer alternative approaches for parents, such as encouraging self-reliance and exploring various resources beyond traditional therapy. They highlight the need for parents to take a lighter touch and consider broader solutions for their children's well-being.

Let's take off the gender glasses altogether. And let's think much broader about the needs of this young person.

Watch the full length episode exploring the over-treatment of young people here:

To listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app click here for Substack instructions on setting up a private feed.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to Gender A Wider Lens exclusive content. If you're a free listener, what you're about to hear is a preview of a bonus episode for our paid sub-stack subscribers.

0:11.0

If you'd like to hear the rest, go to widerlands pod.com and sign up for any of our paid membership

0:16.8

options.

0:17.8

And to all of our premium and founding member subscribers, thank you for the support. And here's the bonus conversation.

0:26.0

Hi Stella.

0:27.0

Hi, how's it going?

0:30.0

Good, you have to say my name for all of our listening.

0:33.0

Sasha, hi Sasha.

0:35.0

We were just talking about this huge point, which is that in this, the point you made made in this individualistic culture nobody wants to be an imposition on their friends.

0:48.0

So they don't open up about difficult things they quote save it for the therapist and they keep the

0:53.9

friendship time fun and light-hearted and I was just kind of asking you if you

0:59.7

see this with adolescents because this is something I see a lot and as a matter of fact a lot of

1:05.7

adolescents will tell each other things like you know I want to help you with this, but I'm not a therapist.

1:15.0

And they will encourage their friends to tell a therapist.

1:18.6

And you know, it's tricky because I'm really conflicted.

1:22.0

I have said to many teenagers if a friend comes to you who's suicidal

1:28.4

Yeah get an adult to help you because you're not equipped. Yeah. So there are times when it is beyond the scope of a teen

1:36.2

friend to handle someone's problems. On the other hand you and I were just

1:41.6

talking about like when we were young all of our friends had

1:46.1

all kinds of problems and we talked with each other about those problems and it

1:50.9

didn't really feel like an imposition.

1:54.0

No and it was a bonding opportunity.

...

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