What kind of self-talk goes on in your head? We'll be discussing the need for some

positive self-talk today. I'm John Fuller with Dr. Danny Werta who leads the

focus on the family parenting

department and Danny how big is the need for parents to get a hold of

positive self-talk versus the negative stuff? It's pretty common and there's

certain personality is they're a little bit more prone to that.

Oh yeah I can see that.

They're just more self-critical to begin with but it is pretty common and I've heard some parents

unfortunately say you know I'm crazy, I'm stupid, I failed, very permanent,

negative self-talk. Sometimes it's okay to say, you know, I didn't do that so well or this isn't going as well and I need some help.

That's some negative self-talk with some purpose to it that helps you grow and then you go to the

positive self-talk from there.

But the damaging one is when you say it so permanently,

and I'm stupid, I've messed up my kids,

I'm the worst parent ever I'm just I'm just not good at this and it is so permanent that

it really affects the ability to change things.

So kind of get up into the helicopter. the everything it's just a one-time mess up I can move on.

Okay. Well let's go ahead and turn to a conversation that

focused president Jim Daly and I had with popular podcaster and author Ashley

Willis who shared how she's struggled with being kind of down on herself in her parenting.

Let me ask you something and I've seen this you know typically when we have moms and we're in interviewing moms

women have such a capacity to put the guilt on themselves you know I didn't do

...