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The other day I struck up a conversation with a couple in the grocery store and they were expecting their first child and it was an exciting conversation.

I mean they told me all about their preparations for having a baby and they already had a mentor couple and a birth plan in place and as I left they asked me if I had any book recommendations and I did mention I wrote a book for first-time dads and commended them for being so well

prepared but if I could give one piece of advice to new parents it might be this

stay flexible it can be discouraging if you're not willing to kind of shape your

plans as you go and as you figure things out. I remember a pastor told me you can read all the

parenting books but your kid won't read any of them.

So there's this gap, and you have to be flexible.

I'm John Fuller joined by Danny Werther.

He's the head of our parenting and youth department here at Focus on the Family,

and we'll talk in just a moment or two but

focus president Jim Daly and I spoke with Dr. Greg and Aaron Smalley and author

Suzanne Goslin who offered some helpful advice about preparing for your first child.

Suzanne, let's talk about that spontaneity because when a child comes along,

a lot of couples, unlike the Smolies, may lose that spontaneity because there's so many to-do's on the list and you know

you constantly cleaning and sickness and all the other things that can occur.

Couples can just lack the energy I guess to become or to maintain some spontaneity.

Is that a problem?

I think so. I think you need to be intentional going to

up to having a child as they were talking about setting up date nights you're

going to have to be intentional because default mode is staying home with that

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