Pornography and Your Marital Sexual Relationship

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 22 March 2021

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Finlayson-Fife joined Jolene Winn of The Porn Addict's Wife Podcast to discuss how the marital sexual relationship can be affected when a spouse is viewing pornography. Listen to here more about.. - A look at the bigger issue an individual has when they are compulsively viewing pornography. - Validating your own sexuality. - How to stop taking responsibility for your spouse viewing pornography. - Questions to ask to know your spouse better and understand his choices so you can make clear choices in the face of it. Jolene's Instagram To learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s work, visit our Website, check out our Course Page, and take a look at our upcoming Events. You can also follow Dr. Finlayson-Fife on Instagram or join her FREE Facebook Group for greater access to her insights. www.Finlayson-Fife.com You can also listen to this episode on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, TuneIn, and Stitcher. The advice offered through Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Podcast Archive is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a trained psychotherapist, she is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these sessions, but rather using her training to inform these sessions. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients; and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Dr. Jennifer Finlayson Fife Podcast Archive, where you have access to all the amazing
0:06.5	insights Dr. Finlayson Fife has shared through hundreds of interviews.
0:11.1	I'm Mackenzie, Dr. Finlason Fife's assistant, and we are so glad that you're here. This episode is entitled Sex and Pornography Addiction and was originally produced and published by the
0:24.7	porn addicts wife podcast. We are so excited to share this episode with you. But
0:30.5	before we do I just wanted to remind you that there is a new course available on Dr Finlason Fife's website called The Art of Loving and it is a men's sexuality course.
0:40.0	This course will help men develop more confidence as an intimate partner and help them unpack conflicting messages about men and sexuality that work against self-confidence, trustworthiness, and mutual desire.
0:54.3	We hope you enjoy the episode.
0:57.6	All right, so thank you, Dr. Finlison Fife,
1:01.2	for being on the podcast today. What I really wanted to do today was get your expertise and a conversation going around the marital sexual relationship and how that's influenced when the
1:17.4	husband is addicted to pornography. So one of the things that was a big struggle for me when my husband was addicted to pornography and it's a big struggle for most of my clients and my listeners is the idea of trying to reconcile that men, like culturally and as a society
1:39.7	we teach that porn is expected and that it's a very healthy part of sexual
1:46.8	progression right so it seems very sexual right so it makes the wife, when the husband, you know, when they find out
1:56.2	about their husband's pornography addiction, it makes the wife question their
2:00.5	sexual relationship and her desirability as a sexual partner, right?
2:07.0	Which then leads the wife thinking that the solution is on her, right? That she's part of the problem, right? Which, you know, makes
2:16.4	her want to try and control her change her own behavior in order to hopefully change his, which is exactly what happened for me in, you know, what my husband
2:28.0	told me, part of me thought that it was partly my fault, right?
2:31.7	Like that, if I were, if I lost weight or maybe I need to make
2:35.8	sure I'm always on or sexually available or you know ready for the day make sure I'm always that I
2:42.4	never say no, you know, and maybe if I did all of those things,
2:47.1	then it would change his behavior. Yeah, right. Yeah, but the question in that, yeah, yeah, but the idea is like there's all of that and yet pornography addiction most of the time has nothing to do with sex.
3:04.0	But that's a very hard thing for our brains to separate.
	...

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