I'm Christopher Titus and this is the Armageddon update.

Pope life. Popin ain't easy. Big Popin. It's that time again, a time where the nightmare of this planet has worn out yet another Pope.

So it's time for a change. The time of a new religious leader being elected, currently the bishops from the conclave, where they're trying to elect a new pope through

improv games, dance and rap battles.

We need a pope to feed us, to heal us, to please us.

Gotta be so good he plays record ball with Jesus.

Or maybe they just shoot for it.

One, two, three.

God, you're the pope.

So none of us know what's really going on behind the scenes in the conclave or how the Pope is elected.

I mean, whether it's sumo wrestling or a game of monopoly. We don't know. And I know some of you think I'm being disrespectful.

Well, to that I say, really? What kind of childish boy school bullshit is this? After Trump posted this on his true social account,

his own true social account, you know, the one that is his with his name that he post on his own

account, his account, he said, I had nothing to do with it. Somebody made up a picture of me dressed

like the Pope. That's not me that did it. I have no idea where it came from. Maybe it was AI.

The Catholics loved it.

Did they? Because here's how much they loved it. The New York Bishops Conference said,

we just buried our beloved Pope Francis and the Cardinals are about to enter a solemn conclave to elect a new successor of St.

Peter. There is nothing clever or funny about this

image, Mr. President. Do not mock us. Yeah. Can you feel the love? They did nail Trump, though,

because there is nothing clever or funny about Kim Jong-orange. A lot of people were speculating that

J.D. Vance might have killed the Pope. I didn't believe it. But then this picture points to maybe an inside job. You know, Trump wanted it. You know, man, he wanted that bubble car. The decor of the Vatican is really in his wheelhouse. And that frock? Come on. Totally hide the diaper. And having a gold toilet is what Jesus preached. It's all fits.

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