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Drunk Ex-Pastors

Podcast #568: Harry Potter, Aliens, and Israel

Drunk Ex-Pastors

Christian Kingery

Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.7565 Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2026

⏱️ 93 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This episode of DXP kicks off with a discussion of the coming Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter reboots, after which we discuss Project Hail Mary and the issue of "practical effects." We listen to a theory claiming that things in this country are actually improving, after which we discuss the growing acceptance of the existence of aliens (which leads into some deeper conspiracy-related topics). We conclude with Pastor Jack being a moron about the significance of Israel.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, What up? Dude, if I seem super mellow today, it's because I'm on muscle relaxers and pain killers. Really? Yeah, which also fucks with my voice. Like, I don't know what it, I mean, I'm sure there's some, I'm sure like some doctor would be like, oh yeah, I mean, take painkillers, it does something to your vocal cords, you know, whatever. But, um, why are, are you on that stuff just for fun? Or are you on? I wish it was for fun. Um, no, dude, so I think I told you that I, I feel like I hurt my hip like a couple weeks ago lifting a generator. Yeah. Yeah. This, this, this, that weather event we had, the last for two days is going to be the most expensive in history for me because I went and got a generator because I knew we were going to be without power for a while.

0:43.8

So that was like over $1,000 plus I had needed extension cords and gas and propane and all the stuff.

0:50.4

And then the tree like pretty much fell down or half of it fell down. So I had a,

0:55.7

gonna stay alive or is it dead at the room? No, I had a guy come remove it yesterday because he was

1:00.0

like, yeah, this is the whole thing. Yeah, the whole thing's gone now. Oh, dude, that sucks.

1:04.8

Sucks so bad. But that was $1,200 to have him do that. And then I haven't been able to work at the restaurant. So that's like $800 a weekend. And then, yeah, just on my health, too, I've been able to work out because I injured. So what happened was I lifted the generator into the car. And instantly, I was like, oh, weird. Like, it wasn't like a snap or crack or anything.

1:28.2

I was just like, nope. Yeah. I was just like, kind of went to take a step and I'm like, oh, my hip's a little

1:34.7

sore. Weird, you know. And so I just thought I hurt my hip and I'm maybe strain something. It'll go back,

1:40.8

you know, whatever. And so I worked last weekend, I think, on Thursday, but I was like, by the end of the day, I was just like limping. It was so bad. I'm like, you got to get me out here. Like, I wasn't even going to go to work on Sunday because I'm like, I don't think I can do it. But I did it because I could barely even like get up and down off the couch on Saturday, right? So then Monday I wake up and I'm like, oh, like my leg's not hurting so bad. I feel better, you know? And I come down to the basement and I sit down and all of a sudden I just have this like searing pain that just goes all the way from my butt to my ankle. That was your problem before your hip replacement. Well,

2:18.4

it was a little bit different before. Yeah, kind of went on the side of my leg and it was painful,

2:22.6

but this is a little different. So I, I, um, I like, you know, did a bunch of research. And it was

2:31.2

like, chat GPT was insane. Like, yeah, that's sciatic pain.

2:34.6

Like you probably did something to a disc in your back and it's bulging or herniated or something.

2:39.7

And it's like pressing on this big nerve that goes down the back of your leg, you know.

2:45.3

And so I haven't been able to sit for six days. It's the sixth day that I haven't able to sit. That's why I'm standing to do the podcast right now. Oh, you're standing. I can't tell. Yeah. And what you can see can I move around? My lower back is like in pain from standing so much. But I can't, it's not that it's not even close to the amount of pain I would have if I try to sit down. See, this is why I don't lift things. Right, right. I only want to lift things in a controlled environment where I know the exact weight of what I'm lifting. Yeah, if I'm going to lift, it's meant to be lifted. Wait in order to make me look better. Right. Not if I, not to help someone. I actually did lift my father up off the

3:26.5

ground yesterday. That's right. He doesn't weigh as much as a generator. I'll tell you that.

3:31.3

No, he weighs about 87 pounds. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't really, but he doesn't weigh much. Yeah.

3:36.9

But anyway, yeah, I had a, I had an appointment at my hip doctors yesterday, which is in Ballard,

3:42.1

and you would know that's about 45 minutes to an hour from my house with traffic.

3:46.6

And I went to go get in the car at like 645 to leave from my appointment.

3:51.7

And I'm like, yeah, no way.

3:53.3

There's no way.

...

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