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The Dr. Leaf Show

Podcast 434: How Attachment Styles Affect Relationships & Other Advice from Two Relationship Therapists

The Dr. Leaf Show

Dr. Caroline Leaf

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.73.3K Ratings

🗓️ 14 November 2022

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Download my new and improved brain detox app here: https://neurocycle.app SHOW DESCRIPTION: In this podcast I talk to licensed therapist and life coach John Kim about his amazing new book It’s Not Me, It’s You, simple tips to improve your relationships, how to manage feelings of resentment, the importance of love languages and attachment styles, how to break the blame cycle, and so much more. Sign up to Patreon to get access to full AD-FREE episodes, exclusive downloads, live Q&As, and more: https://www.patreon.com/drcarolineleaf Read the blog here: https://drleaf.com/blogs/news/the-best-advice-from-two-relationship-therapists Get John's book here: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Me-You-Relationship/dp/0063206315 OFFERS FROM OUR SPONSORS: -Cozy Earth: SAVE 40 percent NOW on Cozy Earth.  Hurry, holiday offer ends soon Go to CozyEarth.com and enter my promo code DRLEAF to save 40%. -BiOptimizer’s Magnesium Breakthrough: Magnesium Breakthrough, BiOptimizers, are having an incredible Black Friday special offer from November 21st to 29th. You can get not only Magnesium Breakthrough but all of BiOptimizers best-in-class products for 25% off. BiOptimizers only offers this discount once a year, so don’t miss out! Just go to www.bioptimizers.com/drleaf and enter code DRLEAF10 to get 25% off any order. Want products sooner? There is always 10% off for my listeners with the code DRLEAF10 at www.bioptimizers.com/drleaf.  EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: 6:08 Working on your relationship while raising kids 10:50 Careers, relationships & children 12:05 Why John & his partner Vanessa wrote It’s Not Me, It’s You 14:16 The “lightning in a bottle” myth 20:25 Rocky times do not mean that a relationship is a failure 21:30 The importance of compromise & communication 21:43 Try to understand before trying to be understood 25:11 How childhood protective habits & attachment styles can affect relationships 29:58 How to find beauty in the contrast & improve understanding 35:28 Relationships are not easy but they are worth it! 41:18 How to manage arguments: don’t wait to long. ADDITIONAL RESOURCES: -Get my new book Cleaning up Your Mental Mess here: https://www.cleaningupyourmentalmess.com -Get a free Cleaning up Your Mental Mess workbook when you subscribe to my weekly email at drleaf.com! - Visit my website at https://drleaf.com for more free resources -Instagram: @drcarolineleaf: https://www.instagram.com/drcarolineleaf/- -Facebook: Dr. Caroline Leaf: https://www.facebook.com/drleaf -Twitter: @drcarolineleaf: https://twitter.com/DrCarolineLeaf -Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/drcarolineleaf *DISCLAIMER: This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi, I'm Dr Caroline Bief and welcome to my podcast, Cleaning Up the Mental Miss.

0:10.8

In today's podcast, I have a very entertaining conversation with John Kim, a licensed

0:16.3

marriage and family therapist about his new book called It's Not Me, It's You, that he

0:21.9

wrote with his partner, Valessa, who's also a licensed marriage and family therapist,

0:27.2

all about relationships.

0:29.1

In pulls of wisdom that John drops in our entertaining conversation, where we stop relationship

0:33.5

stories, include some profoundly simple and excellent tips, such as how to see the beauty

0:39.3

in the contrast, so how to see beauty in the differences between you, and how to first

0:44.2

try to understand before we're understood.

0:46.6

And how a resume can build up like a toothache, so how to deal with any underlying resentment

0:52.4

before you have to metaphorically speaking, have your tooth taken out.

0:56.4

And how learning each other's love languages and attachment staff can help you navigate

1:00.5

relationships peacefully, and finally, how to break the blame cycle.

1:04.7

So join me in today's podcast.

1:10.4

Life can be hard and it's easy to feel stressed, anxious and out of control.

1:14.8

What if there was a way to take back control?

1:17.7

What if there was a practical way to detox your brain?

1:20.9

This is now possible with neuropsychal, the first ever scientifically tested brain detox

1:26.4

app, shown to help reduce an anxiety and depression by up to 81%.

1:31.9

Users are guided through a variation of audio and video, brain exercises and mind management

1:36.5

lessons every day.

1:38.0

I'm excited to share some of the latest features in the app, including guides for children

...

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