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Drunk Ex-Pastors

Podcast #316: Montana, Fed-Ex, and Screen Time

Drunk Ex-Pastors

Christian Kingery

Religion & Spirituality, Comedy

4.7566 Ratings

🗓️ 14 September 2020

⏱️ 122 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Howdy.

0:03.5

What's up?

0:04.7

That's what we say in Montana.

0:06.9

We.

0:10.4

Yeah, we just got back.

0:12.7

I'm watching Yellowstone.

0:14.5

I'm on season three.

0:15.5

Janie and I are watching it.

0:16.3

How are you not into Montana?

0:17.8

Dude.

0:19.1

And then we were just there for a week.

0:20.7

And you've been there like several times, I feel. Yeah, a couple times in the last month and a half or so. I couldn't live there. I could not live there. I think I could live there. I'm not saying I want to live in there. I want to live there. Dude, my speech. Oh, my God. Yeah, but I do like it there. Say personalization. No, personalization. There. That was pretty good. Yeah. You were just telling me earlier that you were having trouble with that one. I had a meeting today and I had to say the word personalization probably 15 times. And I did not get it right once. Did you get it wrong in get it wrong in the same way every time? Or did you find 15 different ways to say it wrongly? I did not 15 different ways, but I did say it wrong a few different ways. But one of the things that kept saying that kept going wrong was when I would say like personalization. I sounded like Trump trying to say whatever he was saying when, you know, after he had his stroke. Were you snorting Adderall all day? Because that's where his problems come from. Have you heard that whole thing about how people think he may have actually had a stroke last year when he went to the hospital? Yeah. That was pretty interesting. Yeah, because, I mean, that whole explanation for why they took him to Walter Reed, yeah. There just makes no sense. Yeah. You know, like, it could be a conspiracy theory, but there are serious journalists who are asking, like, we deserve to know why you went and started acting funny after that. And it looks like you have a brace on your leg or whatever, you know. Did you see the clip of him from the other day where he's talking and it looks like a little piece of some sort of white crystal powder? Yeah, like flies out of his nose. He even looked at it. He's like, he even saw it. It was like a projectile. Yeah. So anyway, after the meeting, I asked Andrea, who I work with, who was in the meeting.

2:03.1

I said, did you notice that I had a really hard time saying personalization during the meeting today?

2:07.8

And she goes, yeah, she goes, I was going to say, I haven't noticed anything with your language in a long time.

2:14.0

It's been weird.

2:14.7

But I noticed it today every time you try to say personalization.

2:18.1

And I said, yeah. And the problem with me and my personality is that if I get it wrong, I feel

2:24.3

like I need to say it until I get it right. Right. Like today I was cooking in the kitchen and I put

2:30.6

some butter in the butter dish. And then I put my food in the plate and walked away. And I realized that the butter dish was facing the wrong way. So the butter that says butter on the outside was facing the wrong way. And I thought to myself, a normal person would just leave it, but I can't. I walk back with my plate and turn it around. So butter is facing the right way. Yeah. I do the same thing same thing with text like if i misspell something or or uh there's poor punctuating yeah you'll you'll shift

2:56.9

eight all yeah i'll i'll shift eight yeah that's makes a little asterisk oh where and then you

3:04.3

write the correct way what you meant yeah vicky she she could use a little, uh, she needs to slow down. Are you picking a fight with her right now? Yeah, I guess. No, she, her texts are hilarious because it's like, I read it and it's like, I don't know. Is this a toddler who wrote this? Like, there's nothing, nothing. But I think she's typing so fast and she justends it when she's actually and I think most but here's the thing like she wrote

3:28.1

today saying Christian's about to get beaten up by the FedEx guy I assume that story is

...

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