PLEASE...Touch Us
The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project
All Things Comedy
4.8 • 4.6K Ratings
🗓️ 5 January 2022
⏱️ 90 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
A man drops used condoms into donation boxes and says he's spreading the message of Jesus, Alexa tells a 10 year old girl to touch a plug with a penny, and the Taliban orders shop owners in Afghanistan to behead all mannequins. Jason Derulooooo.
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Transcript
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| 0:25.4 | That's athletic greens dot com slash JRP. That's the first vanity code. I've ever used more than that later. Keeps |
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| 0:51.5 | That's K E E PS dot com slash JRP to get your first month free K E E PS dot com slash JRP |
| 1:03.1 | We got used condoms dropped at church. We got a naughty Alexa and we got a fart send in someone to the hospital in episode |
| 1:12.5 | 138 of the Jesselnik and Rosenthal vanity project |
| 1:17.3 | JRP |
| 1:19.3 | Where is my wallet |
| 1:31.7 | I know where that quotes from or at least I know it's from you at some point this week |
| 1:36.3 | You were just telling us before the the show started that you cannot find your wallet. It's from my real life |
| 1:41.9 | New Year's Eve. I'm getting ready to go out and I always have I got my wallet my keys my phone |
| 1:47.4 | I'm careful with them. I don't do a lot |
| 1:51.4 | It's a lot of like dog walking stuff and I'll just send them I'm looking for my wallet before we go to dinner and |
| 1:56.8 | It just can't find it's one of those where I'm like just I get to the point where I'm just kind of wandering around the house |
| 2:01.2 | Waiting for my eyes to just fall on it and I've had the wallet forever |
| 2:04.5 | I'm not a wall losing person and just could not get it together where I'm like remember like okay |
| 2:09.1 | I have like I've got a little bit of cash on me. I can pay for dinner tonight and regretted going out |
| 2:14.3 | Regretty even though I went I went local I went to a place I go to a lot that was nearby |
... |
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