Pizza drivers confess, the most disturbing places they've ever delivered to.

It was outside of town on a dirt road with tall trees. Every house, we'll call them that,

was basically just plywood shanks. There were broken down cars and trash everywhere. The entire

neighborhood just reeked of a B-rated horror film. I found the right house and walked up to what we'll call the door, but it was just a blanket, so I had to yell, pizza, and they came to the door and grumbled. It was a haggard-looking man wearing boxes and a dirty white tank top. Something felt wrong as he handed me the bill that looked washed out. I held the $100 bill with old Ben Franklin's face on it, up to the light, and I could clearly see Abe Lincoln in the paper. They'd ordered around 50 bucks worth a pizza and wanted change. He tried convincing me that he went to the bank and they gave him that bill. I asked him why the wrong face was on there, and he said that's how they'd do it. I said, hell no, and I drove away as fast as I could.

We stopped taking orders that don't have street roads.

Somebody ordered pizzas to a funeral. There were a ton of people there, all somber and

dressed in black, while I rolled up in my bright red, greasy t-shirt.

Definitely one of the most awkward experiences I've had. I was delivering chicken,

KFC, not pizza, but my worst stop was pathetic, really. I knocked on the door, I heard a kid

yell, I got it, and he opens the door and then runs up the stairs, yelling to his friends,

hey, that chicken butt holes here, the chicken buttholes here. After which a crowd of about eight preteens at the top of the stairs start throwing change down the stairs at me to pay for the delivery. I asked if they could hand me the money, and they laugh and just throw the quarters and dimes even harder. So I picked up the bag of food, winged it up the stairs at them, it hit the wall and I split. Told the boss what

happened and if they called to complain, I won't listen or apologize. I'll just quit if he brings

it up. I found out later he did get a call and told them to get stuffed. He was a good boss.

I guess I didn't technically end up delivering this pizza, but the address was an abandoned

house. It was around dusk,

and the house was obviously uninhabited. I could see trees growing through the windows,

and the backside of the house was crumbling so badly I could see to the backyard, from the street.

The instructions were to, quote, come around back. I double-checked the address after locking my

doors and called the

customer a couple of times, then called the store and told them what was up and why I wasn't

delivering the pizza and headed out. I mean, seriously, who would have been dumb enough to go to

the back of that house? The neighborhood's smack house is blacklisted from every pizza place in my

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