Phone Tap: Put the Gross in Groceries

Brooke and Jeffrey

iHeartPodcasts

Comedy, Society & Culture, Relationships

4.7 • 2K Ratings

🗓️ 1 September 2025

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jeff's calling a guy who is skeptical about his neighbors and letting him know their grocery delivery might have some clues to their strange behavior…

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I know Brooks had him.
0:21.8	Jose, most of us have had him. Weird neighbors. Oh, yeah, that's for sure. Had them and bin them. And if you don't have them, then you are one. They're either super private or super secret. Next thing you know, Brooks looking over her fence with a pair of binoculars, trying to see what you're up to in that bathroom. But why is he digging a hole at midnight?
0:22.3	You know?
0:23.4	One of your business, Brooke.
0:24.8	That's his deal.
0:30.6	And recently, one guy's wife emailed us saying her husband thinks their neighbors are into some shady stuff.
0:32.7	And they keep inviting them over.
0:33.2	What?
0:36.1	Well, they aren't the only ones who think that.
0:39.0	Their grocery delivery guy thinks that, too.
0:40.1	Oh, they would know.
0:42.7	You're going to hear it in your phone tap right now. It's another phone tap.
0:44.2	Weekday mornings on the 20s.
0:48.0	Hello?
0:49.8	Hi, I'm Instacart.
0:52.3	Oh, what?
0:54.4	I work for Instacart. I'm your shopper. I'm Instacart. Oh, what? I work for Instacart.
0:56.2	I'm your shopper.
0:57.5	I'm Elliot.
0:59.4	Pleasure to acquaint, your acquaintance.
1:04.7	Yeah, can I help you? What's up?
1:07.5	No, I want to help you with your Instacart.
	...

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