Phone Tap: Dope Tikulitis Crisis Negotiator

Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps

iHeartPodcasts

Society & Culture, Relationships, Improv, Comedy

4.6 • 781 Ratings

🗓️ 3 September 2025

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Today’s Phone Tap victim has the uneasy task of interviewing people for a VERY HIGH-STRESS job. So today we’re sending our best candidate, who is stricken with Dope Tikulitis, to brighten up their day!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	It's time for your phone tap, and Jose's done this character a few times in the past as a normal guy who's afflicted with a serious case of dope ticulitis.
0:09.0	Oh, I love this guy!
0:10.8	It's a made-up medical condition where he suddenly starts beatboxing and rapping in the middle of any normal scenario that we give him.
0:17.7	And today, we got a request that he should apply for a new job as a hostage
0:23.0	negotiator. Oh, no. So this friend set up a job interview for him, and I'm sure with
0:29.1	dope ticulitis, he's going to be the perfect fit in your phone tap right now.
0:33.8	It's another phone tap.
0:35.1	And weekday mornings on the 20s.
0:37.3	Hello? Hi, good morning. I'm supposed to be calling. right now. It's another phone tab. And weekday mornings on the 20s.
0:39.2	Hello?
0:40.8	Hi, good morning.
0:43.0	I'm supposed to be calling at this time for a job interview.
0:44.0	My name is Marty.
0:45.4	Oh, yeah.
0:45.7	Hi.
0:46.0	Marty.
0:46.9	How are you doing?
0:48.7	I'm actually feeling really good.
0:50.2	I'm feeling confident.
0:52.3	Oh, really?
0:57.2	That's great because I would say you need a certain amount of confidence to get this position for a crisis negotiator. You know, you're going to be dealing with a lot of
1:02.6	serious situations. Well, I've handled lots of high pressure situations with other agencies. So
	...

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