Phone Tap: Automated Hubert Hubert
Brooke and Jeffrey
iHeartPodcasts
4.7 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 26 May 2026
⏱️ 6 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today’s Phone Tap victim just wants to cancel her subscription to her tax software. But thanks to Brooke and Jeffrey’s Automated Customer service, it’s not gonna be as easy as she thinks!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | One of the funnier types of pranks that we've been doing in recent years are the automated ones. |
| 0:04.9 | Oh, God. |
| 0:05.6 | I love them. |
| 0:06.6 | Where we have a robot voice with us that's malfunctioning, frustrating people, sometimes two robots, fighting with each other. |
| 0:14.8 | That's actually my favorite one. |
| 0:16.0 | That's so good. |
| 0:16.6 | But today, the robot has a simple job. |
| 0:19.4 | Just cancel a woman's subscription to her tax software. |
| 0:23.5 | All they have to do is get her name right. |
| 0:27.1 | And you know that's not going to happen in your phone tap right now. |
| 0:31.5 | Brooke and Jeffrey's phone taps on the 20s. |
| 0:35.5 | Hello. |
| 0:36.7 | Hi, I'm calling from TRITax customer care. Is this Mrs. Erica's sht. This is her. Good morning, Erica. My name's Joe, Joe King. I see that you've submitted a request to suspend your service. Actually, I want to cancel. I don't want to suspend. I want to cancel it. I don't want it anymore. Okay, I got that. All right, well, I'm going to send you into our automated system to do that, okay? It's really easy. It'll just take a moment, all right? Right now. Okay. Thank you so much. Please hold. If I can only paddle like a doggy or to paddle like to paddle the ocean blue. |
| 1:12.7 | I'm out of place a doggy steady paddle pace so I can paddle my way to gotta get through to paddle my way to you. |
| 1:21.6 | Hello, this is TAC's Advantage Automated Response. |
| 1:26.1 | According to my notes, you would like to cancel your subscription with us. |
| 1:30.3 | Please say yes or no if this is correct. |
| 1:33.3 | Yes. |
| 1:35.3 | Okay. Could you please spell your first name? |
| 1:38.3 | E-R-I-D-A. You spelled your name. |
| 1:46.0 | E. I. L. G. |
| 1:50.0 | No. |
... |
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