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That's right. All your favorite episodes, add free at Stitcher.com. We are so pumped up for today's interview. Today Peter Bragman joins us. Peter helps successful people become exceptional leaders and stellar human beings.

He blends his deep expertise in business, leadership and people to deliver quantifiable results such as turnarounds, revenue and stock growth, executive team development and even personal development. Peter's recognized as one of the number one executive coaches in the world by leading global coaches. He's also the best-selling author and contributor of over 18 books.

Today we're talking about his latest book. You can change other people. The four steps to help your colleagues, employees and even family up their game and it just came out. He's also the host of the top 10 business podcast, the Bragman Leadership podcast. Welcome to the show, Peter.

Thanks AJ. I'm very excited to be here.

We've all heard the truism that you can't change other people. You can only change yourself. Why do we believe this myth and struggle so much with changing others?

It's because we try to change people in the wrong ways. People don't resist change. They resist being changed. We all make changes in our lives. We change jobs. We get married. We have babies. We change careers. We build careers. We get education.

We do all of this stuff. I'm very willing to change. If you try to change me, that reflects my loss of control. It reflects my loss of autonomy and I'm going to push back.

The way in which we try to change people often generates the resistance that we end up complaining about when we say you can't change other people, you can only change yourself.

I have to completely agree with you there. Not only that I see that in myself more than anything. AJ and I have been working together for close to 15 over 15 years now. That is certainly how I am about things.

I don't like strenuous pressures. Anytime I start to feel that it angers me and it puts the brakes on anything that I'm doing. I'm happy to change. I love to be growth-minded and always looking for opportunities to grow. However, those outside forces certainly do.

I really appreciate that. I also noticed that I react to my own adult self trying to control myself. I react with that way. What I'm thinking about is, I have a sugar thing. I love sugar. I like ice cream.

I know it's not healthy for me. I'm not a good idea to eat a whole pint of Ben and Jerry. That's just not smart. I'll start eating it. In my mind, I'll say, Peter, you really shouldn't be eating this. This is not healthy for you. It's not smart. It's not aligned with your goals.

Your response will be, screw you. I'll get to you whatever I want to eat. I resist my own control that I try to put on myself. I resist that. That's why we say, well, we have really weak willpower. It's not that. I have very strong willpower. It's that we resist being changed even when we feel like that strong hand of change is coming from ourselves.

What I've also found is that oftentimes when others are changing me, I feel the need to rationalize that I'm the one in control of the change. Absolutely.

When I think about my relationship with my fiance, she's definitely had an impact on me, but I will always rationalize that these were my choices in the change that this was my idea.

Yes, sure. I'm dressing completely differently, but that's because I want to dress completely differently. I look pretty good, right? Exactly.

We also know that change is a part of organization's growing and you argue it's really the most important skill that we can develop as a leader. Why is this ability so important in your eyes?

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