Pete Holmes
Anna Faris Is Unqualified
Anna Faris
4.5 • 11.4K Ratings
🗓️ 3 July 2018
⏱️ 85 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Podcast legend Pete Holmes (CRASHING, YOU MADE IT WEIRD) joins Anna and Sim on this week’s Unqualified. First, Pete walks us through how he “charmed” his way through his English degree in college and the gang talks about the nuances of liberal arts education. Then, Pete touches on how he discovered the path to comedy by becoming a provocateur at his boring Christian college. Afterward, Pete compares show business to Lord of the Rings, commiserates with Anna over the perils of dating a performer, and the importance of living a balanced life. Then, the gang plays a round of “Just answer” and “How would you proceed?” Then, they talk to Tony who’s having problems with his new wife’s ex-husband and Casey who can’t stand her boyfriend’s high school friends. Sit back, and prepare to laugh!
Social Media:
Pete Holmes: @peteholmes
Anna Faris: @annafaris
Unqualified: @unqualified
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | I |
| 0:02.0 | in |
| 0:27.0 | Anna, hi, Sam. You're still in Italy, aren't you? Yes, I am. What are you doing? I get to talk to you. We get to do updates and we get to do ad reads. |
| 0:41.0 | I want to know what you're eating every day. I want to know I want to know about this food. I'm eating a lot and it's incredible. I don't know how like tomatoes, everything tastes different here. |
| 0:53.0 | Can you just describe your favorite meal that you've had so far on this trip? Oh, you know, can I brag? We all went to the grocery store and I made a bowl in Yeze with like these beautiful ingredients. This amazing olive oil and this incredible butter and this amazing meat and cheese and this incredible pasta and had this big family meal out on out on the terraces. |
| 1:22.0 | I was really proud that it came out okay and it felt so intimate and then the next morning I'm covered in bug bites. But anyway, it's been really special and everywhere. We've just been traveling around and sort of booking hotels or motels the last minute. It's been really fun. That sounds amazing. I'm very jealous but I'm also very excited to see you when you come back. It's been a long time. Yes, me too. |
| 1:51.0 | Yes, me too. Sim, I know. We actually don't have feedback on my M's episode yet because we're recording this advance while you're still on vacation. But from the Bert, Chrysher episode, we got feedback not from the for the caller, but we got feedback on Bert. He's a hit with our listeners. It's been a while since I've received this kind of response. And I don't know if you've seen the Instagram, but people really, really really love that episode. They were I mean, I'll read you a couple of quick notes that I got here. One of these emails, one from Jessica and |
| 2:21.0 | Chicago, she wrote, hello, I wanted to tell you I enjoyed the Bert episode so much. Sometimes I have a bad habit and I'll skip episodes based on not knowing the special guest. Man, should I stop doing that? I started listening while finishing up some work before lunch and I had to separate myself and sit in a conference room. So I wasn't on the floor laughing. Thanks for a great episode. Adrian, she's from Austin, she wrote, I have listened to every single episode on the podcast and absolutely loved it. |
| 2:51.0 | But I have to say the Bert, Chrysher episode was probably the funniest podcast I've listened to and I listened to a ton of podcasts. I laughed out loud so many times that people at work thought I was losing my mind. Thank you for always putting on surprising guests that I should have heard about, but haven't. I have now bought into him just like he bought into Brad Pitt and will love him forever. Great job. That's awesome. I mean, he was a force of nature. I really, really enjoyed that guy. I did do. That's amazing. I love it when we get feedback. |
| 3:21.0 | Like that too. And Thomas learning kept calling Chris Delia. I can't even say it because I know how to say it properly. He kept being like deal, deal, deal, deal, deal, thank you, Michael. While eating. This is you. How do you remember people's names like that? His name is Michael. Do you have a trick? You know what it is? I actually do have a trick. |
| 3:51.0 | What people don't forget names and I'm bad with them. Yeah, but they don't remember to remember. That's what it is. People you think you forget a name, Sim, Sim card, got it. You know what I'm saying? But you need to take a deliberate moment to remember. Well, that's what I always feel like when you meet somebody, it always feels like they say something like, hi, and then there's like a mute button that goes off in my brain drops and. |
| 4:21.5 | That's all you remember. It's got forever. Yeah, no, that's everybody. Yeah, but that was impressive. Well, the Scientologist are right, man. You know how they do the first name. You're not a sign. Are you a sign? No, judgment. No, no, no, no, no, you can't believe in much. Well, it's not really a religion. I just bitch you Scientology. |
| 4:40.0 | What I'm saying is they're right that people love hearing their own names. Have you heard this is and it's very comforting. Sim, do you have your head see right there? You just get a little. |
| 4:53.0 | I get excited. I get excited when Pete home says my name. That's what I'm saying. Michael likes it and I forgot your name, but see, this is good. It's like a Lana or something. |
| 5:01.1 | That's it. Fuck. God. I didn't even learn your name. That was stinks. What's her name? It's Laura. What if you didn't know? That would be fucked up. That would have been real bad. |
| 5:12.4 | Where you and where you played yourself? That was so funny. Oh, Kiyano. Oh, oh, thanks. Yeah. I love that twist that you were you. Oh, thanks. Did it play? You've seen it play live. Did it work? Did it work? |
| 5:21.8 | I don't know. I haven't seen it. We saw it together live and it played. Oh, you sat next to me. That's what SIM cards do. They remember. That's actually a pretty funny joke. |
| 5:33.7 | Because they remember all our phone numbers. I'm sorry. Is it short for something? It's short for Simran. Simran. Beautiful. Thank you. But we can't handle it. So you say so much. Pete, you were in English major. What is that your research? Yeah. How good was that? |
| 5:49.7 | No, I love it. I want to be here all day. This is the greatest. I was in English major. What did you do about that? Nothing. Be a official major of people who don't know what they want to do. The five year plan. |
| 6:00.4 | Yeah, what? |
| 6:01.4 | Five year plan. I couldn't get out. I couldn't get out of there fast and no. What did you hate about it or not? Maybe not hate. I didn't I didn't learn how to read. I can read. |
| 6:12.2 | But like how to read. Like sit with a book and just kind of quiet yourself until like I don't know two years ago. I'm 38. Like now I know how to read. Back then I couldn't read any. I didn't finish a single book. I just kind of charmed my way through all of it. Faked my it was actually helpful as improv training to just like fake your way in conversations. Oh, completely. Yes. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Anna Faris, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Anna Faris and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

