People Pleasing Is Dangerous for Autistic & ADHD Kids: What Parents and Therapists Need to Know

People pleasing is often labeled as being kind, flexible, or mature.
But for autistic and ADHD children and teens, people pleasing is often something else entirely.

It's a self-protective survival strategy—one rooted in fear of rejection, emotional pain, and the belief that their needs are "too much."

In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I talk about why people pleasing is especially risky for neurodivergent kids and teens, how it develops, and the early warning signs adults often miss.

I also share a very real moment from my own life—standing in a grocery store with no water at home, right before a major ice storm—and how that moment revealed just how powerful (and dangerous) people pleasing can be, even after a year of hard work.

This episode is for parents, therapists, and educators who want to support autistic and ADHD children and teens in building safety, boundaries, and self-trust—without pushing them into burnout.

In this episode, I cover:

• What people pleasing really looks like in autistic and ADHD children and teens
• Why people-pleasing is closely connected to masking and emotional safety
• Early warning signs, including over-apologizing and difficulty saying no
• How people pleasing is often unintentionally reinforced by adults and peers
• Why people pleasing increases burnout, anxiety, and vulnerability in relationships
• How supporting capacity and boundaries can reduce meltdowns and shutdowns

If you've ever worried that teaching boundaries might make a child "too rigid" or "selfish," this episode offers a compassionate, neurodiversity-affirming reframe.

🎧 Listen now and share with another parent, therapist, or educator supporting autistic and ADHD kids and teens.

🥁🥁🥁🥁 MORE Great information for you! 

The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95

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Thank you for your advocacy!

After you get your guide, you can also access these free resources below:) ⬇️

🌟 Get your FREE "Get To Know My Child Snapshot"

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⭐️ Hey Therapists! Come on over for NEURODIVERSITY-AFFIRMING CONTINUING EDUCATION 

Enhance your therapeutic approach with our affirming and engaging trainings while earning CE credits to fulfill your professional development requirements, as our courses are approved by the NBCC.

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About Holly Blanc Moses
Holly Blanc Moses is a neurodivergent psychologist, speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.