Well, hey there, and welcome back to advice session. A series here on Anything Goes, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything, and I mean anything you want advice on. And I give you my own professional advice. And today's topic is people pleasing, which is something that I struggled with for many years, but I'm slowly

but surely getting better at managing. Being a people pleaser in theory is a good thing.

You're pleasing people. Come on. How could that be harmful? But it is ultimately harmful to oneself

to be a people pleaser.

And I learned that the hard way time and time again throughout my life.

And I still to this day learn that the hard way over and over again.

But over the years, I've gotten a lot better about it.

And so I feel somewhat ready to give you advice about the topic. So without further ado,

let's begin. Somebody said, how to stand up for yourself without being mean about it. I feel like as

somewhat of a people pleaser myself, I understand this struggle, right? It seems like there's no obvious way

to stand up for yourself without creating conflict. And to be honest, that is kind of true.

Whenever you stand up for yourself in any capacity, you have to be okay with the fact that

the person that you're standing up for yourself to might not respond warmly to that.

Even if you do everything perfectly, even if you stand up for yourself as politely and

respectfully and admirably as you possibly could, there's still a chance that the other

person is not going to respond to that very well. And you sort of have to accept that. That's just inevitable.

But when it comes to the act of standing up for yourself, how do you do it without being mean?

Well, it's simple. It comes down to your tone and your wording.

When it comes to tone, I think it's very important to try your best to stay calm, to keep things

somewhat casual in a way. In my experience, confrontation goes the best when the other

person doesn't feel attacked, right? Instead of being like, hey, hey, you did this. What? Instead

being like, hey, you know what, you did this. And it's like the immediate response from the other

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