People Have Had Jack’s Age Wrong All Along!
On The Sofa with Colson, Jack and Ben
Audio Always
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 12 December 2025
⏱️ 33 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Big news! Bounties have left Celebrations! Stop the clocks. But switch on the lights, because Jack’s been telling more porkies in Leyland.
And would you rather have dragon breath or manipulate water? Plus, can we get hedges onto primetime TV?
www.patreon.com/onthesofa for everything AD FREE plus an extra episode every single week, and it's big at the moment as we tell the story of Buster Ferrybridge, Yorkshire's most renowned adult entertainer.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello, this is on the sofa with Colson, Jack and Ben. I'm Colson. This is |
| 0:14.7 | Jack and Ben. I found a lolly in my dressing room. Me and Jack are recording this together, |
| 0:20.2 | and I found an old lolly in my dressing room. How old? I reckon it's two to three years old. Red Jolesworths. It's good. It's good. It's one of those sherbet. What type you want? Oh, it is. Oh, I don't know if I like them. That's when there are always the last ones left. |
| 0:37.6 | It's the ones you just have to eat and crunch. It's chalk, in it? Edible chalk. Edible chalk. Yeah, and it gets a bit of dry mouth whilst you eat it. Yeah, if you're lucky. Here's one for you. The big news is that bounty has been taken out of the celebrations. How do you feel about that? What? |
| 0:52.9 | Everyone's over the moon. |
| 0:53.7 | How'd you know that? |
| 0:55.1 | I know my shit, Ben. |
| 0:56.6 | That's good. |
| 0:57.3 | I like that. out of the celebrations. How do you feel about that? What? Everyone's over the moon. How do you know that? |
| 0:55.1 | I know my shit, Ben. |
| 1:11.9 | That's good. I like that. I like the mini bounties. No one does. Really? It's always left. Snickers, bounties. I like both of those. And there's one more. Is topic in that? Now, people always leave Milky Ways, but I'm a big Milky Way fan. |
| 1:13.3 | The Milky Ways are a shit. |
| 1:13.8 | Shit. |
| 1:14.7 | Mars. Shit. They are shit. Galaxy and Mars fly out. No. No, not Mars. Galaxy and Maltese. It is celebrations? Yes. Yeah, but what are you, Ben? Are you a heroes, a celebration, a quality streets? |
| 1:29.0 | I'm just whatever I put my hand into. |
| 1:32.0 | But if you could have a particular... |
| 1:34.6 | I don't buy them. |
| 1:36.6 | You know when you come out at the supermarket, they're stacked? |
| 1:40.5 | What would you rather receive? |
| 1:42.4 | Celebration. |
| 1:43.6 | Would you? |
| 1:44.6 | Yeah. |
... |
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