Mariah,

I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be here.

On this episode of the commercial break.

Here she is, you know, serving food out the window just like I was back then. And then I hear that fucking frying machine. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. I'm like a Pavlovian dog. Something turns in my head. And I'm like, get those fries. Get those fries. You got to get those fries. The fries are going to burn. Get those fries.

Put them in there and shake that salt while they're still hot.

You better do that, right?

Not too much salt.

Just a little bit of salt.

Not too much.

The next episode of the commercial break starts now. Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to the commercial break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and a co-host of this show.

Chris is Joy Haudley. Best to you, Chris. Best to you, Brian. Best to you out there in the podcast universe.

Hope you're doing well. Smack dab in the middle of holiday season. I hope you're revving down, de-stressing, having fun. I personally rev up because a lot of old ladies are out there on the road. A lot of old ladies and old men, especially in my part of town, are out there driving maliciously, slowly, in front of me. And it drives me fucking batty! It does.

I can't take it.

I just can't take it.

I hate the Christmas season for...

Excuse me, let me repeat that.

I love the Christmas season, but I dislike being on the roads during the Christmas season.

Because it seems like every Nudnik who got their fucking license on the back of a cereal box is out there driving around trying to find gifts for their great grandson.

And they get in front of me and I go crazy, crazy. Either that, or it's the soccer dad who thinks he's the police officer of the neighborhood.

So he's going to drive exactly 33 miles per hour

in a 35 zone to make you slow down, young man.

...