You and I want to be liked, but sometimes you might struggle with trying to make everyone happy.

And if you have kids, what do you do when they see that pattern and try to emulate it? I'm John Fuller along with our vice president of

parenting here at Focus on the Family, Dr. Danny Werta. Let's go ahead and hear a clip

featuring Mylan and Kay Yerkovich. They spoke with Jim Daly and me about the love

styles concept and just a reminder essentially the way you were raised and the way

you attached emotionally or didn't attach with your parents is really a factor as you

raise your own kids. So in the last episode they address the Avoyder Love Style and today the pleaser. Let's continue that discussion today. What does that

pleaser child look like? Pleaser children end up being caretakers of others. They are very hyper-vigilant to

look at moods and look on your face. If you look sad they're going to want to

try and help that and so they can be over focused on

others in trying to make whatever is perhaps a bad mood in you or a problem or

a difficulty make it all go away so you might find a

kid who's a pleaser might be a person who cracks jokes a lot is trying to be

have fun a lot is trying to change the topic, is using diversions, and also caretaking.

And so they'll do stuff around the house to try and make everybody happy.

And so this is how I grew up as a child trying to be this child to compensate for

at times angry outbursts in my home I would then compensate with those tools

that I used to try and cope with my situation as a child growing up.

Let me ask you this because some of these attributes that we learn are actually good skills.

You talk about a person who ends up being a lawyer, a negotiate or something

like that. They're a person that's got to read a room very skillfully and they got to know

where their opportunities are how to earn the trust of somebody because of their

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