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Turtle Time

Patreon Teaser: The Worst Episode of Vanderpump Rules

Turtle Time

Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata

Tv & Film

4.7 • 601 Ratings

šŸ—“ļø 25 May 2026

ā±ļø 5 minutes

šŸ§¾ļø Download transcript

Summary

Mark it down - "Pitch No-So-Perfect" is the worst episode of Vanderpump Rules or at least in the bottom 10. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

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0:22.0

Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you.

0:24.4

Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com slash setup.

0:31.9

Attention all passengers.

0:34.1

The Uber ride for Jeff's rugby team will depart in five minutes from Platform 15.

0:39.3

Your ride comes with six toilets and a refreshment's carriage that you'll empty within five minutes.

0:46.6

Thank you for booking your tickets on Uber.

0:50.4

Trains on Uber.

0:52.1

I got to say this up front.

0:53.9

We are here to recap Vanderpump Rules.

0:56.6

That is the mission of this Patreon series.

0:59.4

Villa Rosa VIPs, you know why we're here today.

1:02.2

And if you watch this episode beforehand, maybe you did.

1:06.2

Maybe you didn't.

1:07.8

I just got to be honest.

1:09.6

This is one of the worst episodes of Vanderpump

1:11.3

Rules I've ever seen. This was bottom 20. And I don't say that very often. I haven't

1:15.8

slotted or ranked in a while. We say best of the heap. Great episode. This one, fucking

1:24.1

Derek C. in France, directed this one. It was terrible.

1:29.2

And this season started out so well that we were giving it such benefit of the doubt.

1:34.6

For the first six episodes, I was having fun.

1:36.8

This thing is sputtering on its deathbed.

...

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Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

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