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Turtle Time

Patreon Teaser: Jax Taylor Suffers From Mercury’s Gatorade

Turtle Time

Riley Hamilton and Amy Scarlata

Tv & Film

4.7601 Ratings

🗓️ 9 March 2026

⏱️ 7 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jax Taylor roars life back into Vanderpump Rules season 8 by having a complete meltdown about having to go to a Malibu beach to pick up trash. If you enjoyed this teaser, join the Turtle Time Patreon and become a Villa Rosa VIP to hear the full episode and access exclusive bonus content! We'll be recapping the Vanderpump Rules series from the beginning each week. And if you need even more Turtle Time in your life, follow us on ⁠TikTok⁠ or ⁠Instagram⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

You and I just kind of winked at each other right before we started recording and said,

0:03.4

we whispered Jacks is back in this one.

0:06.9

In a big way.

0:07.9

It really, I felt like we were in a recession, entertainment-wise, for the last three weeks,

0:14.8

even though we've been trying our best.

0:17.2

But then all of a sudden, Jacks comes out, rearing to go.

0:21.8

Ice black.

0:23.2

He's drunk.

0:25.3

He's on Coke.

0:26.5

And he's screaming.

0:27.8

And he's one degree off from that from that meltdown he had when he was, remember flipping people off and sir and running around in circles, almost taking his clothes off.

0:36.8

He's one degree off

0:38.2

from that. And I was thinking that it's so underrated that we got to witness a man that was fully

0:48.1

in the throes of a Coke binge for eight years potentially. And then it's really starting to rear its head now to where

0:55.8

I couldn't explain to you without citing Coke as to what the fuck Jacks is doing or talking

1:02.6

about in this episode he's like makes no sense he's like pissed for no reason he's screaming

1:08.4

he's fighting with everyone and then now that he's admitted to cocaine usage, it's just like, oh, he was just ripping huge lines of coke every single day of filming season eight. And that explains what the hell is going on. In tandem with his personality disorder. He's like, I have high highs and I have low lows and I'm furious all the time. And he's so pissed that people are kind of having to explain it.

1:28.8

They're like, yeah, they're like, I don't know what the hell is going on.

1:31.8

And they kind of rally around the idea that once the wedding was over, Jacks had no power anymore.

1:40.7

He had no, he had no lure.

1:43.4

He couldn't hold anything over people's heads. And he couldn't get attention anymore. He had no lure. He couldn't hold anything over people's heads and he couldn't get attention

1:47.8

anymore. So he had to flail and fight to try to regain attention, which is such an interesting

...

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