It's after one. Love is a precious thing. When you give it freely, it blossoms. A person

fills up with that love and it becomes good.

These recordings were made by a woman named Janera Gerardo, a few weeks before she died.

When you take love away, it is just as powerful and can break someone down.

Janera secretly taped about a dozen of these selfie videos. In most of them, she's

staring straight into the camera's lens. She looks miserable, blood shut eyes, dark circles underneath.

Her short sandy blonde hair is uncomed, and the white t-shirt and light brown

v-neck sweater she's wearing have light red stains on them, probably a mixture of her tears

and red wine. Janera was falling apart because, in my heart, I had a great love. Her husband,

of 24 years, Mark Gerardo, was having an affair with his boss. A beautiful and dynamic young woman,

her name, was Meredith Sullivan Chapman. His whole heart is so sweet. I don't want to be hearing

the word. I just want to be... go on.

The first time I heard these recordings that Janera made, I was in a conference room at an

office where her husband, Mark Gerardo, had agreed to meet me. I remember thinking when he walked in,

that he looked a little bit like an older brother every day version of the actor Bradley Cooper.

They have the same kind of blue eyes and great hair. But unlike the Hollywood actor,

Mark Gerardo is hard to read. He's guarded. This was our first in-person meeting. A few weeks

earlier, we had talked on the phone and Mark said I could interview him for this story. And that's

when he told me about the secret videos Janera had recorded. He found them after Janera died,

and only his therapist and a few friends even knew they existed. I had asked him if I could

look at them for clues as to why Janera ended up doing what she did. And he said I could watch

maybe one or two, but that he felt uncomfortable letting anybody see them all.

...