Parenting with Scars + Becoming the Parent We Needed (A Conversation w/ A.J. Swoboda)
The Intentional Parents Podcast
Intentional
4.9 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 21 May 2025
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week, we’re thrilled to welcome back our dear friend A.J. Swoboda — author, professor, theologian, lay pastor, and fellow podcaster — for an honest conversation about what it means to parent while carrying our own scars. Like physical ones, emotional scars tell the story of pain endured and healing found.
We talk about the reality that many of us are giving our kids something we never received — emotional health, spiritual guidance, or intentional presence. While that’s a beautiful gift, it can also bring up unexpected feelings of shame or even jealousy as we confront the gaps in our own stories.
We discuss some practical tools for parenting with scars, including Jon Tyson’s Primal Path, a discipleship program for fathers and sons. We also reflect on how our children often become the ones who draw our scars into the light, asking questions that push us to face painful parts of our past.
Ultimately, we highlight the fact that healing is a slow, intentional process — and how parenting through our scars invites both challenge and redemption. We found our conversation with A.J. to be rich, emotional, and full of hope — and we think you will too.
Book Mentioned: His Face like Mine: Finding God's Love in Our Wounds by Russell W. Joyce
Previous Episode Mentioned: Procedural Memory: How God Redeems Reflexes, Rewrites Patterns and Renews the Mind (Spotify + Apple Podcasts)
Scripture Mentioned: Genesis 2:24
A.J. Swoboda:
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We want to invite you to the intentional motherhood retreat, 2025. |
| 0:05.2 | For the past two years, hundreds of mothers from around the country have gathered with us for a weekend of worship, |
| 0:12.1 | teaching, and connection, and really to seek God together. |
| 0:15.8 | And we can't wait to do it all again at this year's motherhoodreat, this time in Portland, Oregon, October 23rd through 25th. |
| 0:25.0 | So come join us. We can't wait to see you. |
| 0:32.3 | You're listening to the Intentional Parents podcast, brought to you by Intentional. Intentional is all about spiritual formation in the family. |
| 0:41.4 | We desire to bring biblical hope and practical hope. |
| 0:44.7 | Enjoy this week's conversation. |
| 0:52.3 | All right, welcome back to the Intentional Parents podcast. |
| 0:55.8 | Today, sitting here with my good bud, AJ Swaboda. |
| 1:00.0 | We want to talk about parenting with scars. |
| 1:03.9 | Maybe some physical, but mostly we're going to be talking about mental. |
| 1:08.1 | Let me show you. |
| 1:09.0 | Let me show you. |
| 1:10.1 | My kid made me. |
| 1:11.2 | What is that? |
| 1:11.9 | Is that my kid? |
| 1:12.4 | Marks. |
| 1:13.4 | Oh, no. |
| 1:13.8 | I actually, this, can I tell you these stories? |
| 1:15.4 | Please. |
| 1:15.8 | I've got some pretty interesting scars. |
... |
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