In this episode Ken Kelly and Rory Lees-Oakes discuss parallel process, Carl Rogers' 7 Stages of Process and the skill of reflection.

As counsellors we can sometimes find ourselves in a clients material and finding elements of the clients journey that may be simpler to difficulties we have faced ourselves.

 

As soon as we are referencing our materials and relating it to the clients story we are running a parallel process. The danger is that we may feel the solution we found from our hardship is the solution the client needs to follow and we may find ourselves having an agenda within the therapeutic relationship.

 

We explore how to recognise parallel process and what we can do to deal with this within ourselves.

 

 

The 7 Stages of Process

 

Rory examines the theory of the 7 stages of process by Carl Rogers.

 

Carl Rogers theorised that people move through different stages of process from a place of rigidity to becoming a more fully functioning person. Rogers identified that this is not a liner journey and that people were likely to move to and fro through the stages. In essence the 7 stages of process are fluid.

 

We are unlikely to see clients enter therapy in stage 1 and 2 as they will most likely externalise the reasons for their distress. Clients in these early stages tend to feel their discomfort is caused by others and by circumstance and there is little ability to accept responsibility for own feelings.

 

Rory explains at what stage we are likely to see clients enter therapy. he looks at how clients move from “it’s you that causes me pain” to “It’s me that holds responsibility for my feelings”

 

Carl Rogers 7 stages of process

 

Stage 1: People at stage one will not speak about feelings openly, they are in a place of rigidity. This is a stage of rigidity where blame is external to self. At stage 1 people may make statements like “ If they did such and such then I would feel better”

 

Stage 2: At Stage two people tend to be slightly less rigid than stage 1. There is still a difficulty accepting that feelings are part of self and there is still a tendency to externalise the source of psychological pain or discomfort. A person at stage 2 may make a stamens like “ It’s not me it’s them. At least I think it’s them. It is isn’t it?” There is almost a slight movement to asking if responsibility should be taken by self but certainly no taking of that responsibility.

 

Stage 3: We may see a person at stage three enter our therapy room. The person is beginning to consider acceptance of responsibility however there tends to be a generalisation that all people feel as they do. At stage 3 we may here statements like “I feel like this but then everyone does, don't they?” There is a tendency to favour speaking about feelings that are past and less comfort exploring here and now feelings.

 

Stage 4: At stage four a plaint begins to describe their own feelings. There is still a tendency to focus on past feelings but they are processed more in the here and now. There is a difficulty accepting the feelings as part of self and a tendency to be critical of self for having the feelings in the firs place. We may hear statements like “I feel guilty about that but I shouldn't really”.

 

Stage 5: Stage five sees clients expressing feelings more openly and being willing to explore the feelings within the here and now. Current feelings are accepted and processed however there is still difficulty for the client in trusting these feelings. It is likely the client will be experiencing moments of movement towards being a more fully functioning person. Clients are likely to express that they are seeing things more clearly. We may hear statements like “I can now see how angry I am at him and I guess I feel ok with that anger considering what I have been through”

 

Stage 6: At stage six the client is recognising feelings as part of self and holding responsibility for those feelings. The client accepts the feelings and recognises they hold the key to their self actualisation. Feelings flow freely in the here and now and a sense of self acceptance emerges. 

We may hear statements like “ I recognise that pain within me and thats ok. I feel accepting of what I did and I feel a warmth and compassion for where I am at. Carl Rogers believed that clients at stage 6 made irreversible progress and that self growth would continue without the counsellor.

 

Stage 7: At stage seven we are likely to see a fluid, self accepting person who is open to the changes that life presents.

 

 

The skill of reflection in counselling

 

Ken Kelly explores how the skill of reflection can be used by the counsellor in the therapeutic relationship.

 

Reflection may seem simple as it is merely repeating the clients words back to them as they said then however there is a deeper side to this counselling skill.

 

You will hear a simulated counselling skills session where reflection is used.

 

Reflection is used so that the client feels heard. They hear their own words reflected back to them and this can have profound effects on the counselling process.