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Awesome Marriage Podcast

Our Marriage is Struggling, But My Spouse Thinks Everything's Fine Ep. 694

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality, Relationships, Christianity

4.9 • 802 Ratings

🗓️ 9 September 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Every marriage goes through seasons where spouses see the health of their relationship differently. Our unique physical needs, emotional capacities, and family backgrounds shape the expectations we bring into marriage and the ways we handle conflict. If you're in a season where you feel unheard or disconnected, this episode offers practical ways to pursue your spouse, tools for having the hard conversations, and encouragement to take ownership of your part in the struggle. Most importantly, it will remind you that God cares deeply about you and your marriage, and you can trust Him to guide and protect it.

 

Episode Highlights:

  • Each spouse has different emotional needs and brings different emotional baggage into a marriage. 
  • It's important to approach the content spouse with grace.
  • Men and women have different relational needs. 
  • Just because you don't talk about, or acknowledge issues, doesn't mean they will just go away.
  • Even if you feel lonely and isolated and unheard in your marriage, you can trust the Lord with your heart. 

 

Quotes from Today's Episode:

Some people have a higher tolerance for dysfunction or distance in relationships.

Couples may be sharing responsibilities without sharing their hearts.

Sometimes the content spouse is suppressing their emotions. 

Acknowledging your part opens up the door for real conversation.

It's ok to feel angry or frustrated, but don't let that cause you to sin.

You're responsible for learning to manage your emotions.

A healthy marriage requires two people who are both willing to grow.

Timing and approach are everything.

Scripture should be a guide not a weapon. 

 

Couples' Conversation Guide:

  1. How do you rate the health of your marriage right now? What do you think your spouse would rate your marriage? (If you don't know, ask them!)
  2. How safe do you feel to be vulnerable in your marriage?  What do you think your spouse would rate how safe they feel in your marriage? (If you don't know, ask them!)
  3. How can you show your spouse that their feelings matter to you, even when you don't understand them?
  4. Can you identify an unhealthy pattern or rhythm in your marriage? What one positive step can you take toward changing that pattern or rhythm together?

This week's challenge: Write your spouse a letter and share something you've had a hard time communicating in the past.



Mentioned in this Episode:

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Ephesians 426 says be angry and do not sin. So it's okay to feel frustrated or angry,

0:05.0

but don't let that turn into sinful patterns like with holding love, gossiping about your spouse,

0:11.1

or seeking emotional connection somewhere else. Want to grow your marriage with helping couples

0:16.1

worldwide, join our marriage changers from just 50 cents a day. Get exclusive monthly videos from Nancy and me,

0:22.6

new digital resources, 50% of courses and more. Start with $15 monthly at the link in our show notes.

0:29.8

Well, welcome to today's awesome marriage podcast. How common is it for one spouse to feel like

0:35.7

everything is fine, while, the other feels deeply

0:39.3

unhappy. You know, this is incredibly common. I'd say it happens in most marriages at some point,

0:46.4

and for some couples it becomes a chronic pattern. What's happening is that you have two people

0:52.2

with different emotional needs,

0:58.9

different communication styles and different ways of processing conflict.

1:05.4

One spouse might be conflict avoidant or genuinely satisfied with the status quo.

1:09.1

Well, the other is crying out for deeper connection or change.

1:12.7

The tragedy is that both spouses often love each other deeply, but they're speaking completely different languages. So what are some reasons

1:18.5

the spouse may genuinely believe there's no problem while their spouse is hurting? Well, I think

1:24.5

there's a number of reasons why this happens. And it's important to approach this,

1:28.4

I think, with grace, because often the content spouse, they're not being malicious. They're not

1:34.1

trying to say everything's wrong. First, some people have a higher tolerance for dysfunction

1:40.2

or distance in relationships. Maybe that's what they grew up with. Maybe that was their family of

1:46.3

origin. For example, if somebody's parents barely talked to each other, but stayed married for 40

1:51.5

years, they might think that's normal. Second, men and women have often have different

1:57.6

relational needs. A husband might think, we're not fighting. We're paying the bills.

...

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