Optimus Crime

Good Morning From Hell

Clayton, Vice-President of Hell

Comedy Fiction, Comedy, Improv, Fiction

4.8 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 25 August 2025

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week the leader of the Autobots rolls by the studio and proceeds to Transform the vibes from "chill" to "awkward" very quickly. Special guest Jacob Fullerton from Astrogoblin! Go to mintmobile.com/GMFH for your 3-month Unlimited wireless plan for just $15/month Go to factormeals.com/GMFH50OFF and use code GMFH50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year Join our Patreon to support the show at ⁠goodmorningfromhell.com⁠! Produced and hosted by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Chris Demarais⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Blaine Gibson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ from Tales from the Stinky Dragon, Rooster Teeth, & Black Box Down. Edited by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nicholas Newton⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Art by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Andrew Douglas⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Good morning from hell. It's a good friend Clayton here. Live in hell with Chris.
0:11.0	Hi, I'm Chris and I'm dead and my eternal punishment is to record this podcast where we interview everyone in the afterlife.
0:19.0	And I have to say, Clayton, yeah. the upgrades you made to this recording studio are pretty cool.
0:24.6	You like those? You like that, Chris? Yeah, I got some new furniture, doing some remodeling, doing some renovations.
0:29.6	Yeah, I wanted to surprise you. I think you're going to like that, that new chair specifically.
0:33.6	This chair is really cool. It's almost like a metallic throne. Yeah, man. Thank you. Fit for a king. Yeah. Are you just getting into like a DIY kind of thing? Yeah, you've been working so hard and I just figured that you need a nice reward. So I just got you this like cool chair and I saw that and I was like, that is so Chris. I'm going to get that for Chris. I don't know when your birthday is. your birthday is, I don't fucking care, but let's just consider this your birthday gift, huh? Oh, thank you.
0:54.5	Whoa. And I was like, that is so crisp. I'm going to get that for Chris. I don't know when your birthday is. I don't fucking care.
0:56.6	But let's just consider this your birthday gift, huh?
0:57.3	Oh, thank you. Whoa. It vibrates. It vibrates, huh? That's super cool. Like a little vibrating massage chair. It might have a heat function as well. If you press some of the buttons, you can probably heat it up. It's not hot enough in here, right?
1:09.4	Oh, that is hot.
1:10.7	Yeah.
1:11.1	It's almost like a breathy.
1:13.1	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:14.3	Well, you've got heat it up. It's not hot enough in here, right? Oh, that is hot. Yeah.
1:11.1	It's almost like a breathy.
1:13.1	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:14.3	Well, you got to be careful, though, watch your sperm count, those heating chairs, those zapped your balls. But that's fine. You don't need to worry about those anyways. I don't even know if you have yours anymore, do you? No. Oh, that's right. That's what I play pickleball with.
1:24.1	Yep.
1:24.5	It's funny too because instead of a pickleball racket, you just use a penis.
1:28.3	Yeah.
1:28.6	Definitely not yours, though.
1:29.6	Wasn't that big.
	...

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