Opt Out of Taking Without Giving: Let’s Make Reciprocity a Movement
Black Girl Burnout
Kelley Bonner
4.7 • 763 Ratings
🗓️ 21 March 2025
⏱️ 20 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, host Kelley Bonner is getting real about reciprocity—what it means, how we often block it, and why it’s time to shift our mindset. Too often, we take from the spaces that pour into us—our friendships, our communities, and even the creators and entrepreneurs who inspire us—without giving back.
This conversation isn’t about guilt; it’s about unlearning old habits and making reciprocity a daily practice. If we truly believe in community and abundance, then we must match our actions to our values.
Kelley shares:
✅ The ways reciprocity (or the lack of it) shows up in our relationships and communities
✅ How the legacy of over-giving has shaped Black women’s experiences
✅ Simple, actionable ways to give back daily (and they take less than 5 minutes!)
✅ A direct challenge to listeners: Let’s get Black Girl Burnout to 1,000 reviews on Apple & Spotify!
Let’s make reciprocity a movement—together! If this podcast has poured into you, this is your moment to give back
Ways To Support The Podcast:
⭐ Leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts & Spotify (goal: 1,000 reviews!)
📲 Follow on TikTok & Instagram (@blackgirlburnout)
💬 Tag a Black creator, artist, or entrepreneur you’ve supported recently.
⭐ Stay engaged! Follow us on SubStack: SubStack
🎧 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!
👉 Let’s continue this conversation: What’s one act of reciprocity you’ve done this week? DM us or comment on our latest IG post!
Remember, support isn’t just about money. Visibility, engagement, and amplification matter, too.
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Connect With Resmaa Menakem
Web:
- www.resmaa.com
- www.culturalsomaticsuniversity.thinkrific.com
- https://blackoctopussociety.com
- https://blackoctopussociety.com/subscriptions/
Instagram:
- @resmaamenakem
#BlackGirlBurnout #OptOutOfStruggle #ReciprocityMatters #SupportBlackWomen
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelly here. And today I want to continue reflecting on part one of my episode that I had on Monday with Resma Menacim, there were so much wisdom dropped in that first segment. |
| 0:23.2 | Please go back and listen to it. If you haven't, it was utterly brilliant. Resma really |
| 0:28.5 | brings this thoughtful, grounding energy to everything he does. And I can't help but always have |
| 0:35.4 | to think for days after I've had a conversation with him. |
| 0:40.0 | And one of the things I want to unpack today is reciprocity in connection with what he was talking about. |
| 0:47.1 | He talked about this cultural squeeze that we're in, this moment that we're having. |
| 0:52.5 | And I've used different language to explain it. |
| 0:55.0 | There's like this reckoning. I called it a reckoning. He rephrased it. But I really do feel |
| 0:59.7 | like there's this really crucial moment happening right now. Things are no doubt stressful for a |
| 1:07.0 | lot of people. And I'm not infusing this with toxic positivity or telling people to feel |
| 1:12.1 | really optimistic and great about how things are going, especially if their immediate life is not |
| 1:17.5 | so great. The culture doesn't feel so great. The politics of their nation may feel fraught, |
| 1:23.1 | whatever that is. But there is still in all of this an opportunity. And I think it is calling, |
| 1:31.7 | as Rezma said, it is a calling for us to be curious about what are the parts of our culture |
| 1:38.2 | that we need to tend to. And what are the parts do we need to give away? Let go, let die, that concept of generative decay, |
| 1:46.2 | that some things have to go away and die to create new growth, to create something beautiful. |
| 1:52.3 | And one of those things that has been a separate kind of thought I've been having is around |
| 1:58.0 | reciprocity. And how much of that is superficially existing in our community? There's some |
| 2:05.6 | beautiful acts of reciprocity I see every single day. Those of you who listen to this podcast, |
| 2:11.3 | engage in an act a form of reciprocity. And so much of what black women do is create community. But I want to go a little deeper because |
| 2:20.7 | I do think there's a wound in our community around reciprocity. And I want to specifically talk about |
| 2:26.4 | reciprocity and how we may be blocking it or withholding it and expecting it only when it benefits us. |
... |
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