Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelly here.

And today I want to talk all about how to celebrate rest and how to center rest by setting some really good boundaries. I want to start by asking

some questions and to see if this is you, if you can relate. How many times have you said yes to

something you didn't want to do? How often do you overextend yourself because you don't want to disappoint others?

If you're feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or stretched thin,

I'm here to tell you that all of those yeses are stealing your peace.

And I say this not with judgment as someone who's a former people pleaser, a former yes gal.

I say this because as black women particularly and just women in general, it's deeply ingrained in us to say yes.

To say yes first and think about ourselves later. Why do we do it?

We do it because we're afraid we're going to disappoint folks. We have been raised so much

in this culture of silence and overextension that somehow black women are supposed to be caretakers

and peacekeepers and problem solvers, again, going back to the whole strong black women

mentality, that we should be in service of others 24-7. And some of us feel guilt and obligation when we turn people down, particularly people that we love or co-workers that we really admire.

Other times we say yes because we're not even clear on our own priorities.

We don't know what truly matters.

And so everything feels urgent. We get stuck in this myth of urgency.

And when we don't know what is most important in our lives, so many other things fall to the wayside. Maybe you're saying yes all the time.

And it's your family that's suffering or your partner that's suffering. Or let's never

forget yourself. Making sure you're on the list of priorities for black women, it doesn't happen

often. We forget to put ourselves on that list. So when we talk about rest as a mechanism for

healing, when we set boundaries,

we're effectively saying no to protect our yes. That's the way I want us to think about things.

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