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Black Girl Burnout

Opt Out of Hustle Worship: Why I No Longer Make Hard Look Holy

Black Girl Burnout

Kelley Bonner

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7765 Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2025

⏱️ 27 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this unfiltered and vulnerable episode of the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelley shares her personal experience of hitting an emotional and physical wall—and choosing not to push through. Recording from a space of softness, Kelley opens up about caregiving for her mother, work exhaustion, and the long-standing cultural pressure for Black women to "keep going no matter what."

Kelley challenges the toxic belief that struggle is a badge of honor, and that doing things the hard way is the most admirable path. She invites listeners to opt out of hustle worship and instead opt into softness, rest, and sacred ease.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for resting or struggled with letting go of your “strong Black woman” armor, this episode will speak directly to your soul.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • Hard doesn’t equal holy – You don’t need to earn your peace or prove your worth through struggle.
  • The glamorization of hustle is harmful – Constantly pushing through burnout isn’t strength, it’s unsustainable.
  • Rest is a radical choice – Saying no and choosing ease is a powerful act of self-love and resistance.
  • Letting go makes space for new you – Releasing the “old version” of yourself is necessary for real joy and healing.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

  • 00:42 – Kelley records in real-time from a space of softness and transparency
  • 02:10 – Balancing professional demands with a family emergency
  • 05:40 – Letting go of the version of self that pushes through everything
  • 08:15 – Naming and rejecting the myth of “holy hardness”
  • 12:45 – How pop culture glamorizes Black women’s pain and struggle
  • 17:20 – Why “pushing through” is no longer virtuous or sustainable
  • 22:58 – An invitation to release the performance of strength
  • 26:10 – Closing: Choosing rest and presence over perfection

SUPPORT THE SHOW

Are you stepping into a “Summer of No”? Whether you're canceling plans for rest, setting fresh boundaries, or saying no to what drains you, you don’t owe anyone guilt. Take a moment this week to capture what freedom looks like for you. Snap a pic or video of your joy and tag us:

📱 @blackgirlburnout

📧 Subscribe to our newsletter: www.blackgirlburnout.com

📺 Watch the episode on YouTube

💌 Show some love—don’t let Kelley’s mama be the only one dropping hearts!

Have a question for July's Q &A episode click here to submit your questions.

STAY IN TOUCH

If you’re looking for more ways to connect with the Black Girl Burnout community, we’ve got you covered:

  • Join our Substack family! Think of it as a modern-day online magazine (Tumblr-coded for the millennial hearts). We share weekly reflections, tips, tools, and deeper insights into each podcast episode—plus personal notes from Kelley’s life.
  • Become a paid Substack subscriber for just $8/month (about the cost of a fancy latte) and access exclusive content like digital tools, apps, and free resources that are valued far beyond that.

OUR SPONSORS

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Our Sponsors:
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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelly here. And today I am recording this from a place of

0:08.1

softness. If you are watching me right now, I have got my legs up on my office chair. I'm leaned

0:15.8

all the way back. I got a ring light on and that's all it's doing. It's got to do all the heavy lifting

0:22.5

today because I have had a week. I've had two weeks. I'm recording this pretty much in real time

0:30.8

because tomorrow we're going to drop this episode because y'all, it's been so busy. I didn't have

0:36.5

time to pre-pre-pre-an episode.

0:38.4

I have other ones all prep for the rest of the month,

0:41.3

but this episode fell through the cracks.

0:44.3

And the reason why I felt like this is the time to get on here

0:47.7

and do an episode and to talk to you all

0:49.9

is because it ties into the theme of the episode today,

0:55.3

which is how to opt out of hustle worship.

0:59.2

And really, it's about why I no longer make hard look holy.

1:04.0

If you've been on Substack, I did a post exactly about this.

1:09.6

And it's pretty rare in general that I do something that's exactly

1:14.5

the same from sub-sac to the podcast. I like to make it different because I want you to have a

1:18.7

different experience when you are tapping into Black Girl burnout, that you really could

1:24.1

follow me on every platform and get something different. But I feel like

1:27.8

this needed to be an episode and a post. I need to write about it. One, it's just more like

1:34.9

organic and it comes to me quickly when I write a blog post. But it also needed to be an episode,

1:42.6

something that was real and honest, because the truth of the matter is,

1:47.0

is that all of us are probably feeling like, girl, you've had a week, I've had a month,

...

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