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Black Girl Burnout

Opt Out of Annihilation

Black Girl Burnout

Kelley Bonner

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7764 Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Relationships should be a place of rest—but what if they often feel like the opposite?

In this episode of Black Girl Burnout, host Kelley Bonner dives deeper into the spirit of annihilation—a concept introduced by Resmaa Menakem—to explore how inherited trauma fuels conflict in Black relationships. She unpacks how historical wounds manifest in our interactions today and why choosing rest is a radical act of healing.

But here’s the truth: Healing doesn’t come from ignoring the wounds or making excuses. It comes from recognizing the ways we perpetuate cycles of harm, setting boundaries, and choosing rest as a form of resistance.



Kelley Highlights

✅ The difference between frustration and the spirit of annihilation—and why it matters

✅How generational trauma shapes Black relationships today

✅Why cultivating accountability is an act of love

✅ A new approach to healing—by rejecting toxicity and embracing rest

If love has ever felt exhausting, if relationships have left you feeling drained—this episode is for you. Because healing begins when we stop making excuses and start making space for peace.


Ways To Support The Podcast:


Leave a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts & Spotify (goal: 1,000 reviews!)

📲 Follow on TikTok & Instagram (@blackgirlburnout)

💬 Tag a Black creator, artist, or entrepreneur you’ve supported recently. 

Stay engaged! Follow us on Substack: Substack

🎧 Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it!

👉 Let’s continue this conversation: What’s one act of reciprocity you’ve done this week? DM us or comment on our latest IG post!

Remember, support isn’t just about money. Visibility, engagement, and amplification matter, too.




Connect With Resmaa Menakem


Web: 


Instagram:

  • @resmaamenakem


BGB Community Minute l Aline Lopes

ATTN: BGB Community In Dorchester (Boston Area) Massachusetts, we are happy to highlight an amazing upcoming play in your area. We need your help to support this event.

Note From Aline Lopes:

My name is Aline and I am a theatre company owner from Boston. Our productions are focused on stereotypes and taboos surrounding mental health that exist in black and brown communities.

About The Play:

The play's name is "The Many Faces Of The Strong Black Woman: The Dark Days", and we will be performing at the Strand Theater in Dorchester, MA April 4th and 5th, 2025. 

The play is a part of a series of plays that displays different stories of black women maneuvering through the stressors of life all while trying to live up to the ideals held by the idea of "the strong black woman". The plays are meant to highlight the interconnectivity that exists between our biology and our race. The play displays some of the ways these factors impact us as black women living in the US. This particular play showcases what happens when all the members of a sisterhood are simultaneously struggling to manage their individual mental health status. The play focuses on the ways we interact with our inner circle and the world beyond when our mental health is suffering. 

This production displays some of the dark ways we impact ourselves and those close to us when our mental health is deteriorating. The story is told through dialogue, dancing, singing and rapping. The production collaborates with local artists and works hard to use as much original local music as possible. 

Where:

Strand Theater

543 Columbia Rd

Dorchester,, MA 02125

When:

Friday April 4, 2025

Saturday April 5, 2025

Attire:

Evening / Cocktail Attire

Time:

The play begins at 7pm - 8:30  (20 minute intermission). Afterwards there is a meet and greet with the cast. Coffee and desserts are served during this time. 

Art:

We will also be displaying paintings and other visual arts pieces, from college and high school students in the gallery. 

Purchase Your Ticket:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-many-faces-of-the-strong-black-woman-the-dark-day-tickets-1242367557809?aff=oddtdtcreator

Learn More About This Organization

https://www.thecrewproductions.com/



#BlackGirlBurnout #OptOutOfStruggle #ReciprocityMatters #SupportBlackWomen





Our Sponsors:
* Check out Super.com and use my code super.com/credit for a great deal: https://super.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast, Kelly here.

0:13.3

And today I want to talk about how do opt out of the spirit of annihilation.

0:18.8

It's something that we talked about earlier this week with

0:21.5

Resma. And I wanted to just dive a little bit deeper into that and talk about ways that we can

0:26.4

take that anger and frustration that is just pervasive right now. It's everywhere. Everyone's

0:32.6

feeling it, but specifically in our community, how we can heal that energy and start to build relationships

0:40.9

with each other that feel like rest. I want to dive deeper into how to do that thoughtfully

0:47.7

and to do that in a way that keeps us focused on opting at a struggle and not borrowing more

0:54.1

struggle and trouble for ourselves.

0:56.7

So before I get into the episode, though, I just want to say thank you. Last week, I asked you all

1:02.7

to review the podcast if possible, and I made it a big ambitious goal. And I see people coming through.

1:11.8

I see your reviews.

1:13.3

I want to thank each one of you who took the time,

1:16.0

who took to heart the request on Friday and click the button.

1:20.0

I know one of you sent me this frantic message saying,

1:23.4

I can't figure out how to do it on Apple Podcast.

1:26.0

And girl, I don't know either.

1:28.1

I'm a check, but don't worry.

1:30.6

I know that you tried, and that means the world to me.

1:34.1

And it's just wonderful and a testament to the fact that when you build a community and you show up for them, they will show up back.

1:43.9

And so that is my wound that I'm

1:46.0

healing that I have an incredible community. And I never doubted that. Let me be clear. But I'm not

...

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