Opt Into Setting Boundaries with Love - Part 2
Black Girl Burnout
Kelley Bonner
4.7 • 763 Ratings
🗓️ 3 July 2024
⏱️ 19 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of the Black Girl Burnout Podcast, Kelly explores the complexities of outgrowing friendships and provides practical advice on how to handle these situations with care and love. She discusses the importance of setting boundaries, preparing for difficult conversations, and maintaining clarity and compassion. More, more, and still more is within your reach in 2024. Tune in today and prepare yourself to engage in realistic strategies that can help you with opting into a life filled with abundance and joy.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast. Kelly here. And today I want to keep our week going, talking about how to manage and navigate friendships when we've outgrown them. So this episode is going to be all about now that we've established that we may have outgrown a friendship or that we may have a friendship that is challenging to us |
| 0:21.8 | or causing us pain. Well, what next? What do we do? And how do we have that difficult conversation? |
| 0:30.0 | How do we adjust our boundaries? How do we talk about and navigate the uneven or non-reciprocal friendships, this is the episode where we |
| 0:40.6 | dive into that. And I am always transparent with you all and say that this is a skill that I am |
| 0:47.3 | new to learning and practicing. I used to be a quiet quitter when it came to friendships. |
| 0:53.1 | Oh, I will just ghost you. Once I have made up my mind that we are not a match as friends, I'm done. I am the type of person who used to let resentments build or slights or just discomfort build around a friendship and then hit a turning point. |
| 1:12.4 | I've always said to people, one of the things about me you have to know is that I have a very, |
| 1:16.9 | very high tolerance for slights or tension or discomfort. |
| 1:22.3 | Like it takes a lot to offend me in a relationship. |
| 1:26.3 | I have a very high tolerance. But once that tolerance gets hit, |
| 1:31.1 | you're done. Like I cease to know your name. I don't want to talk to you again. I don't want |
| 1:36.9 | you in my life in any way, shape, or form. And that is not healthy. Spoiler alert, that is not a healthy way to navigate friendships. |
| 1:46.3 | Because all along, what I thought was a high tolerance, quote unquote, was really just |
| 1:52.4 | four boundaries and then just hitting a tipping point and being very harsh. |
| 1:57.5 | And it came off to people as harshness even if I had a credible long list of this is when |
| 2:05.9 | you did this to me and this was really bad and you shouldn't have done this but I let it go |
| 2:09.2 | anyways it trends towards self-righteousness which I've said I have a problem with |
| 2:14.5 | men I work through daily it also deprives yourself of saving a friendship. |
| 2:20.8 | Like I realize in hindsight, looking back, |
| 2:22.8 | that maybe some of those friendships could have been salvaged, |
| 2:25.3 | but even more importantly, the ones that couldn't, |
| 2:27.4 | and there were ones that we just shouldn't have been friends in the first place, |
... |
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