Welcome to the Black Girl Burnout podcast. Kelly here, and my question for you today is,

when was the last time you said no? And I don't mean the way that we say no kind of quickly

if somebody asks us for something

that's just silly or ridiculous. Or if we have children and they ask us for something, it's the

easiest know of our day. We're like, no, you can't have that. I'm talking about know when on the

other side that meant standing up for yourself, standing up for your boundaries,

saying no to that extra task at work, especially when you're feeling underappreciated,

saying no and walking away from a relationship or the potential of a relationship,

when you know that partner is not a good fit,

saying no to family members who you love dearly, but maybe asking more of you than you can give.

This episode is all about the power of no and learning why we should say no, how we've been

culturally programmed into saying yes all the time as women and then add another layer as black

women.

And then a couple ways to say no and a healing practice is going to round out

today's episode. Let's start with how we are culturally programmed to say no. A lot of the

history of women and black women on top of that really surrounds slavery and

the impact of slavery, particularly for those of us who are black Americans.

So much of our history in the past, related to American history, is steeped in control and cruelty and every kind of boundary

violation you can think of. Black women were sexually assaulted and raped. You're forced into labor

without any payments, any kindness. The list kind of goes on and on. And so as black women,

we have been conditioned to say yes. We've been conditioned to say yes or else. The consequences

of saying no in slavery times ranged from disfigurement, torture, whipping to death.

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