Oprah and renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel on What We Really Want in a Relationship

The Oprah Podcast

Harpo

Society & Culture

4.2 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2026

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

World-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel returns to The Oprah Podcast to share her brilliant relationship insights with a live audience. Esther has incisive advice for Gen Z women who’ve given up on dating, a mother of five struggling to heal old wounds in her marriage and a single mom who put her dating life on hold to focus on raising her son. Plus, Esther reveals what she learned during her first-ever therapy session between a man and his AI chatbot girlfriend. She also reflects on the 20th anniversary of her groundbreaking book Mating in Captivity — and why, in today’s age of disconnection, its message is more crucial than ever. BUY THE BOOK! The 20th anniversary edition of Mating in Captivity, published by HarperCollins and written by Esther Perel, is available wherever books are sold. https://www.estherperel.com/mating-in-captivity 00:00:00 - Welcome Esther Perel 00:03:00 - Desire in long-term relationships 00:05:12 - Relationships in 2006 vs. 2026 00:08:45 - We’re more connected and less accessible 00:10:32 - 3 most common sex challenges today 00:13:00 - Esther’s dating advice 00:17:30 - One person can’t be everything 00:21:05 - The love myth we learned 00:22:50 - What to look for in a partner 00:25:30 - Relationship ambivalence 00:29:40 - Relationships with chatbots 00:36:36 - Chatbot relationships are here 00:37:57 - When couples therapy took off 00:39:00 - Healing from relationship ruptures 00:42:00 - Importance of repair 00:46:00 - How to date again 00:48:28 - Healing from heartbreak 00:54:50 - How Esther understands people Follow Oprah Winfrey on Social: https://www.instagram.com/oprahpodcast/ https://www.facebook.com/oprahwinfrey/ Listen to the full podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/0tEVrfNp92a7lbjDe6GMLI https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-oprah-podcast/id1782960381 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You resent him or yourself for accepting it?
0:03.0	Damn, you're good.
0:05.0	Modern loneliness masks itself as hyper-connectivity.
0:10.0	Wow. You say couples are so damn tired that they have sex really at the bottom of the do-do list.
0:16.0	Here's the Amen Choir over here.
0:19.0	I hear like a third of Americans are having romantic relationships with chatbots.
0:24.6	What do you want to say about this?
0:25.6	I have a lot to say about this.
0:27.6	Okay, you have a lot to say about this.
0:28.6	Well, audience, we got something to talk about here today.
0:31.6	I wish I wrote my notebook.
0:33.6	It's recorded.
0:35.6	It's the Oprah podcast.
0:43.6	Hey, hey, hey, everybody.
0:45.2	It's so good to be with you, and thanks for joining me.
0:47.4	It is my delight and pleasure to welcome back to the Oprah podcast,
0:51.3	The One and Only Esther Perel.
0:54.6	Thank you. Thankerel. Thank you.
0:56.2	Thank you.
1:00.2	So I was saying to the audience, you all are so lucky you're getting it in a stair session for free.
1:10.8	She's a world-renowned psychotherapist and relationship expert with what I think is an
1:16.5	extraordinary gift for giving voice to our deepest desires.
	...

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