Opie's Birthday w/ Carl Ruiz Mark Normand - Best Last Year of Radio

Opie Unfiltered (Opie Radio Podcast)

Gregg "Opie" Hughes

Entertainment News, News, Comedy Interviews, Comedy, Improv

4.0 • 4.9K Ratings

🗓️ 2 July 2026

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Carl Ruiz shows up with birthday presents and Opie immediately questions the colors and whether they were regifted. Mark’s fresh off Vegas with wild stories, Carl somehow wins every dollar back before his wife finds out (and swears by the magical hangover IVs), and then the real interrogation begins: Did Mark Normand actually hook up with Amy Schumer? Opie and Carl go full detective on him. Plus: F*ck the fear-mongering news, your dog is officially getting dumber, fidget spinners are making a comeback, and cheating in school gets defended. Non-stop laughs. This one’s pure chaos. Don’t miss it.

Transcript

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0:00.0	How dare you say that song is gay, Carl Ruiz.
0:05.1	How dare you?
0:07.2	Are we allowed to say gay on this channel?
0:09.5	Barely.
0:10.1	Hi-yo!
0:11.5	It's Homo.
0:13.8	That's pretty much my favorite Allman Brothers song.
0:17.6	I played it for me today because it's my birth day. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. So before we get Roland, um, can I, can I tell you about rolling really fast? Oh, Roland, sure. What are you? So, uh, I went to the bathroom just before the Allman Brothers went on. Was he in the hotty? He went into the stall.
0:39.2	Uh-oh.
0:39.8	I've never heard gas and farts like I just heard about 15 minutes ago.
0:45.4	And then he's giggling like an idiot.
0:47.2	This fart, and I'm not exaggerating for the show, was at least 30 seconds long.
0:52.7	There were two other people in there, and I finally broke the ice. I was like, Roland, what the fuck? And he just starts laughing like a schoolgirl. He loves him. And then he was going, help me, help me. Let me tell you about Roland and farting. And I learned it's driving to Nashville with him. Yeah. Oh, you drove with him? No, no, once, last year.
1:11.2	Oh, my God.
1:12.1	This year.
1:14.8	Why is that in, oh, my God.
1:16.7	I just can't imagine being in a tin box with that thing.
1:20.2	It turns anything into napalm.
1:22.8	Yeah, exactly.
1:23.7	So I'm driving with him.
1:25.7	And I realize that he's farting every time a tractor trailer, exactly. So I'm driving with him. And I realized that he's farting every time a tractor trailer goes by and he doesn't see it come, it spooks him. Oh. So you're yelling. I go, fucking Roland. Right. What the fuck? He goes, the truck scare me, man. The truck scare me. So every time it was a tractor trailer, I had to let him know in the rearview mirror. So he wouldn't shit himself.
1:45.5	What a weird out, man. And why would you let him know? Let him shit himself. No, so by the time we got to Memphis, Nashville, we had a countdown. Yeah. So he would say 10, and then I would be able to bring the windows down. Because if not, I would crash into a fucking bitch. You can't see. I thought he was waiting for the trucks to go by to hide the fart.
	...

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