Opie Returns: I Shattered My Own Back

Opie Radio

Gregg "Opie" Hughes

Comedy, News, Society & Culture

4.0 • 4.9K Ratings

🗓️ 3 March 2026

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

After three brutal weeks bedridden from a self-inflicted back explosion that turned a minor pull into pure agony, Opie is finally sitting up and firing on all cylinders again. He breaks down the couch stretch gone wrong, the two-week bedroom prison (no bathroom trips, fingertip push-ups to roll over), his Olympic snoozefest, getting obsessed with Alone S11, the insane ABA documentary, Phil Hendry’s genius, and the Blood Sweat & Tears Nixon tour disaster. Hit play for raw, hilarious, zero-filter comeback gold — and yes, the Ron the Waiter drama is next. Welcome back, bitches.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Women got to take care of their vaginas like it's a fish tank.
0:02.7	Yeah, that's the fuck, yeah.
0:04.2	Yeah, they do.
0:04.7	Got to clean out those rocks in the bottom.
0:08.7	Wipe the glass off on the inside and outside.
0:12.7	Get a catfish to take care of the algae.
0:16.7	You need a sucker fish on the glass.
0:20.8	Get a snail on that glass.
0:23.3	Can't even see the fish no more.
0:26.5	The plastic submarine guy just frowning.
0:29.4	He's a plastic man.
0:30.3	No, 30, 40 periwinkles in there.
0:32.0	They'll clean it up.
0:33.1	Gross.
0:33.8	You ever go down the female aisle in a CVS?
0:36.9	Oh, my Lord. It's like, they try to keep an engine running. How much STP do you need for your twat? You're dirty. Oh, my God of God. That is crazy. It's like trying to build a volcano in junior high school. They're walking around for 30 years with an open wound. It's like an injured Civil War soldier.
0:56.7	Yeah, you need a toothbrush for that.
0:58.8	You got a nice musketball to the pussy.
1:01.1	You've been bleeding for 20 years.
1:03.2	You need to put a slug on it.
1:08.0	Gross.
1:09.4	Bite this bullet.
	...

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