Opening Up Without F*cking Up, with Ruby Rare

Come Curious

Sexuality, Comedy, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 783 Ratings

🗓️ 15 May 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This week Florence and Reed are joined by award winning sex educator and author, Ruby Rare to chat all things non-monogamy. Ruby opens up about her personal experiences within poly and open relationships, and shares her best tips for handling conflict and navigating jealousy when there’s multiple people involved. Plus, Ruby gives her take on the concept of a “one penis policy”. To watch the full video, see exclusive content and support the podcast join our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/comecurious Follow us on Instagram @comecurious and DM us your questions and f*ck off stories! Follow Florence @florencebark Follow Reed @reedamberx Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Oh my God.
0:05.0	You're listening to Come Curious.
0:09.0	Envy, Jealousy and Conflict Resolution.
0:15.0	Hey Reid.
0:17.0	Oh, it's more of my favorite topics.
0:19.0	It is. I feel like this is something that we both chat about probably the most to each other when it comes to deep issues.
0:29.0	We're always voice noting each other or talking about like, oh, like, just had this argument or just, yeah.
0:36.6	I feel like you're the only one that gets my crazy and
0:39.0	you bring me back down to a level. We also have very, very different styles of conflict in
0:45.8	like our own lives as well. So I think we learn quite a lot from each other. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah,
0:53.7	because I am, I'm quite like, I guess, like, anxious aggressor.
0:58.3	It has to be solved right there and then.
1:01.1	It can be quite aggressive and full of anger.
1:04.1	But then you're sort of more like...
1:07.1	I'm a stonewaller.
1:08.6	That's what I am.
1:09.7	I'm trying, obviously, my hardest not to be. But I like, I like shut down, close off and feel like I'm under attack. I turn into like my child's self and just want to like disappear. Yeah. So like I'm anxious and you're avoidant basically. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
1:28.7	Which is weird.
1:32.8	I didn't realize how much, like, avoidant qualities I had in myself.
1:33.6	Really?
1:40.7	I feel like avoiding attachment style and avoidant qualities show up, like, they're harder to spot.
1:41.5	They show up a lot less because it seems so like you know what
	...

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