One Way to Stop Shaming Yourself SPARTAN MIND ep 011
The Hard Way With Joe De Sena
Spartan Races
4.8 • 874 Ratings
🗓️ 24 October 2018
⏱️ 4 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Shame is a focus on self, whereas guilt is a focus on behavior. When we use language that is self-deprecating and shaming in nature our self-esteem struggles. Shaming language, such as "I'm a failure", "I'm an idiot", "I'm a loser", creates a belief system that our struggles are inherent to who we are and fixed rather than demonstrations of difficult moments in time. It's important to transition from shaming language that focuses on self to ways of thinking and expressing that is more focused on behavior. In doing so, not only will you be more available to growth but you won't feel as hopeless about change.
LESSONS:
• Shaming language that we use about our own sense of self reduces our self-esteem and contributes to a negative thinking pattern.
• Shift the focus away from self and onto behavior if you are interesting in making changes, becoming more available to growth, and increasing your motivation.
• A few examples include:
1. "I'm a failure" becomes "I failed at that task."
2. "I'm an idiot" becomes "That wasn't the smartest thing to do."
SUBSCRIBE:
Apple Podcasts: http://bit.ly/SpartanUpShow
YouTube: http://bit.ly/SpartanUpYT
Google Play: http://bit.ly/SpartanUpPlay
FOLLOW SPARTAN UP AND DR. L:
Spartan Up on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/spartanuppodcast/
Spartan Up on Twitter https://twitter.com/SpartanUpPod
Dr. L on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drlarapence/
CREDITS:
Production Team: Heather Knox, Knox Creative; Marion Abrams, Madmotion, llc.
Host: Dr. Lara Pence
Synopsis: Dr. Lara Pence
© 2018 Spartan
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hey Spartans, it's Dr. L. with Spartan Mind. |
| 0:02.6 | Today we're talking about how to stop shaming yourself. |
| 0:06.2 | Shaming yourself is important to talk about because the language that we have for ourselves |
| 0:17.8 | about ourselves actually matters a lot. |
| 0:22.0 | And shame is something that can erode our sense of self and our self-esteem. |
| 0:27.0 | Bernay Brown actually said it best that shame is differentiated from guilt in the sense that shame is a focus on self and guilt is a focus on self and guilt is a focus on behavior. |
| 0:37.2 | What we know about shame is that it actually decreases motivation and |
| 0:41.6 | people with high levels of shame have higher levels of depression, |
| 0:46.2 | anxiety, eating disorders, addiction. |
| 0:49.9 | So one of the reasons why we're talking about shaming yourself today is because you can get in your |
| 0:55.9 | head around some of the things that you feel bad about. |
| 1:00.4 | But how you talk to yourself about them is going to differentiate what is |
| 1:05.4 | shaming yourself and how you may be changed to do things differently. |
| 1:10.0 | Okay? So let me give you an example. Let's say I forgot my best friend's birthday and it's three days after and she sends me a text and says, |
| 1:18.0 | hey, forgot my birthday with like a sad face emoji or something like that. |
| 1:22.0 | So there are two ways that I could talk about that in my |
| 1:24.5 | head. One is I could say, oh fuck, I'm such an idiot, okay? That would be shaming yourself. |
| 1:32.1 | Or I could say, that was such an idiot thing to do |
| 1:37.1 | That is different because what I'm doing in that example is I'm separating myself from the behavior, right? |
| 1:46.2 | So forgetting her birthday wasn't great, but I'm not an idiot for doing that. |
| 1:51.4 | It was maybe just sort of an idiot thing to do. But the reason why |
| 1:54.8 | that's so important and I know it's a small distinction but it's actually really key |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Spartan Races, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Spartan Races and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.